Many women want to talk dirty to their partners, but they just don’t know how. Or they are afraid to do so, no matter how loving and open the relationship.
What makes talking dirty so hard? Knowing the reasons behind something is always the first step in overcoming it. So, without further ado, here are the three main reasons that you might be having a problem shedding your inhibitions and letting dirty talk run wild.
Your upbringing forbids dirty words. From the time we are little children, we are taught that dirty words are bad – and by extension, those who say them are bad. That attitude carries over into adulthood, where we cringe at words that aren’t kosher for dinner table discussion. Breaking free of that attitude is very difficult, and it can be hard to do even in the most open and accepting of circumstances. When it comes time to talk dirty to your partner, that childhood training kicks in, and you can’t come up with a single dirty word to save your life.
You’re uncertain of what to say. When you do break free of the traditional view of dirty talk, you might not be sure of what to say. What does your lover like? What will you like? What turns you on or off? You can’t know until you try it! But choosing what to say, and letting it fly in the heat of passion, can seem like a difficult thing to master.
You have a fear of being rejected. Let’s say you come up with the most amazing dirty talk phrase, the one you are sure will make your lover go wild. But then you begin to think of what might happen if he doesn’t enjoy it. Will he shun you? Will the wonderful sex you were having suddenly stop? Will he be utterly disgusted with you for bringing such a thing up? The fear of rejection is a powerful deterrent to trying new things, even with a long-term lover.
You can overcome these fears! Educate yourself on dirty talk phrases. Practice saying them in front of the mirror when you are alone. Experiment with what words turn you on and which ones turn you off. Then talk to your lover. Tell him you want to talk dirty, but you have fears about it…and between the two of you, hot dirty talk can slowly blend into your sexual relationship and make everything so much more satisfying!