Talking dirty to your partner can be one of the hottest things you ever do in bed, especially if you are talking through one of your long-standing fantasies. But what if your dirty talk is a bit too convincing, and the afterglow becomes a question and answer session?
It’s natural to be curious about the sex life of your partner – who hasn’t wondered, at some point, about the men or women who knew your lover before you met them? The occasional questions that pop to mind are perfectly fine, and if you choose to ask them in a delicate manner, that’s probably fine, too. But sometimes those dirty talk fantasies can spark jealousies that you might not have known were there, and the fun of sharing the naughty stuff suddenly becomes a “need to know right now” kind of situation.
If your partner begins asking questions about your sexual past, such as if you have ever really fulfilled that fantasy you so vividly described, you have a big choice to make. Ask yourself some quick questions:
Is your lover the confident type? Will they be able to handle your wild sexual history? If they are shy or withdrawn and it has taken quite a long time to get them to open up to you, talking about your crazy sexual adventures might be enough to send them diving for cover. If they are confident enough to realize that you are right where you want to be, and happy in a relationship with them, then you might be able to share more of your sexual history without fearing the fallout.
Will your “true or false” answer change anything? If you and your partner have both had a wild sexual past, they can’t judge you for what you’ve done. Besides that, your past is just that – your past. Can they really judge you on what you did before they came along? If you feel as though telling the truth would cause problems for your relationship, then it’s best to keep mum on your wild romps.
Is your fantasy open to fulfillment now? If you want to give it a go in “real life” and you think your partner might be game, don’t bother talking about the past – make it a discussion about the future instead. Saying something like, “This is what I want to do with you…do you think we can handle it?” might be the best way to turn their attention from the past to the present and the future – right where it belongs anyway!