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What To Do When Love Hurts

The sexual tension has been building all night long. Finally, he makes a move, and suddenly you find yourselves transformed into a mess of arms, legs and lips, clothes flying in all directions. He’s hot. You’re hot. He’s hitting all the right buttons, until…

OMG. What was THAT? And what makes him think that THAT feels good??

You may have had it done to you – heck, you’ve probably even unwittingly done it to someone yourself: the sexual move or technique that falls flat on its face. Sure, it may have sent his last lover spiraling toward the stars, but with you? Not so much.

What’s a girl to do?

First and foremost: do NOT ignore it. Trust me, I’ve been down this road. Ignoring it means that you have to endure the blah – or even painful – maneuver every time you make love. “Faking it” is for amateurs. You are a sophisticated woman, so why not get what you want?

If the move he tries is actually painful, by all means, stop him in his tracks. Better his bruised ego than your bruised… well, whatever he was working with at the time.

If, however, it’s just a “blah” move that you don’t really want to engage in anymore, it’s wise to be subtle about how you tell him, to spare his feelings.

In a lot of my posts I have touted the value of being honest and open with your lover. And I stand by that. However, when it comes to telling your lover that, basically, their skills in the sack suck, it’s alright to do what you can to avoid having to be blunt.

Next time you find yourselves in a position where that move is going to take place, redirect him. Say, “I know we always do that one thing, but I think this time I’d like you to try a new move.” Suggest something else he can try. And if the new move feels great, let him know! He’ll be sure to update his playbook.

Or, you can use the excuse that, “For whatever reason, that move just doesn’t do it for me anymore. Let’s play around a bit and see if we can find something new!”

If he presses the issue, just be honest with him. At least you did your best to break it to him easy. And, if you’re feeling brave and can take it, ask him if there’s anything you’ve been doing that he doesn’t really enjoy. It could start a great dialogue that will lead to better sex for both of you!

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

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