Cheating is a major cause of most breakups and divorces. There are women and men who have been cheated on who spend the rest of their lives chasing away partners due to their mistrust. In cases of cheating it’s important to learn and move past it entering each new relationship wiser but not jaded and suspicious. If you know that you aren’t being paranoid or overly suspicious but sincerely suspect that your partner is cheating on you there are a few mistakes you will want to avoid.
- Don’t stalk your partner. Following him or having a friend follow her and report back is almost as much of a violation of trust as cheating.
- Don’t accuse your partner. If you suspect that your partner is cheating but don’t know for sure consider asking instead of announcing “I know you’re cheating on me!” Get the facts before you go crazy.
- Don’t threaten harm to yourself, your partner or the “other”. Keep in mind that you are an adult and adults realize that threatening harm to anyone could lead to a legal battle you don’t want to have to deal with.
- Don’t discuss the situation while drinking. No matter what the situation really is, this is a discussion that you and your partner should have while completely sober. The things you discuss could affect the rest of your life and you want to have a clear head for that.
- Don’t attempt to guilt trip someone into staying with you. If the discussion reveals that your partner is cheating your only options are for each of you to agree to work on your relationship or to let it go. You can’t make someone love you.
Cheating is a terrible thing to do, and a terrible thing to be a victim of, but in the search for the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with you often have to be hurt and go through learning experiences in order to be ready for “the one”.
You could become known as the crazy ex, who stalks and annoys, threatens and basically comes across as a neurotic freak, or you could become the one ex that is able to maintain a respectful distant friendship, it all depends on how you handle the situation that leads to the breakup. Cheating is a very hard situation to get through for both parties. The cheater feels guilt, but also feels the need for someone different, the victim feels betrayed and worthless. It’s a vicious cycle in the process of finding the perfect mate.