Nobody likes the Long Distance Relationship. The LDR. The people that say they do are the ones that are ‘making the best of it’ and making it work. And every relationship takes a lot of energy, a lot of work, and a lot of time. Add some distance into the equation and the energy and time required quadruple. If you are considering getting involved in an LDR, or wondering if your current LDR is worth the effort, read this checklist to see if you have the 3 most important elements necessary for a successful LDR. If you are missing even one, you may need to re-evaluate. If yours has all three, congratulations, you are mastering one of life’s most challenging relationship dilemmas.
Trust. How do you overcome the trust thing? As one person put it, you either do or you don’t, there is no work here. Truer words have never been spoken. If you have ANY trust issues at all, you should not involve yourself in an LDR until those issues have been resolved. Why? Because what you will end up doing if you DON’T resolve these issues is mistrusting your partner, and blaming them for mistakes committed against you in your past. It’s not their fault, and you may end up ruining an amazing thing if your trust issues get in the way. When you can’t see or be near someone as much as you want, trust is a very critical element in your relationship or this simply will not survive.
Communication. LDR’s are hard for even the strongest people. Constant communication is necessary so that you both are staying in touch and keeping the romance alive. Thankfully, 2009 makes that a little easier for us, but even so, being in an LDR takes a very strong person. Quirky or sexy texts, or regular meetings on IM are great way to keep the communication going. In a relationship where you can see your partner whenever you want, you can blend your life with your relationship. Life is life and we are busy people, with an LDR, you need to work harder to make the time to communicate, because when you do, you don’t have the opportunity to blend life with talk time. With an at home mate, you can catch up on the day while you cook dinner. You can’t do that in an LDR, so unless you are truly committed to making time on a regular basis, this is a relationship that will fail.
Phone Sex. Though phone sex will not make or break an LDR, it certainly will enhance it. One of the most significant elements of any relationship is the sexual component. As Dr. Phil says, when the sex is great, nobody notices sexual issues in the relationship. When it isn’t so great, it becomes your biggest relationship problem. Adding phone sex to your LDR isn’t as great as the real thing of course, but it is a unique way of staying close to your partner in an intimate manner. And, if you and your partner have never done it, it will add instant spice to your relationship and open the lines of communication. Because you just can’t have the in person intimacy that other relationships can, this is a wonderful way of having the best of both worlds.