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The Dirtiest Kitchen Ideas!

Yes, I know. The kitchen should be clean. The dishes should be done, the pans put away, the floor swept and the counter scrubbed. The kitchen is a place for good food, good conversation, and togetherness. It’s not a place to get dirty!

Or is it?

The kitchen can be one of the most erotic places in the house. The naughty things you and your partner choose to do there are limited only by your imagination! The next time you’re in the mood to spice things up, here are a few tips to get you started on a red-hot kitchen adventure:

Utensils are Dirty Things. There are plenty of new uses for your kitchen utensils. Spatulas make great spankers, and so does a long wire whisk. The backside of a cheese grater – the side that can’t cut you! – is great for sensation play. You can try out the different textures of everything in your utensil drawer, and maybe you can even more to the more unconventional items…for instance, that pepper mill has a most interesting shape, doesn’t it?

Food Isn’t Just for Eating. Who says you have to cook a meal with those things in the refrigerator? The old standbys – whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and strawberries – should be on hand at all times. But what about those things you don’t consider everyday? Creamy cheeses to nibble from your lover’s body, a bottle of wine to pour into the sweetest places, and a touch of olive oil to smooth over heated skin are all great options. What about heated butter? How about ice cream? And did you notice the ice in the freezer? There are so many good things to do with that!

Talking Dirty Comes Easy. When you’re in the mood for cooking up something hot in the kitchen, don’t forget the dirty talk. Those bananas look just like a man’s cock, don’t they? Well, say so! Do you want your lover to lick fresh orange juice from your body and then slip the rest of the orange slices into your most private place? Make it happen by telling your lover exactly what you want. Kitchen sex is unconventional, so don’t be afraid to let your crazy fantasies fly.

Unusual Places Abound. When you’re having kitchen sex, you can have it anywhere. Try out the countertop, investigate the floor, and stand up against the refrigerator door. The grand prize is the big kitchen table – treat it like a bed and get it on!

What other kitchen ideas can you think of? Share them with us!

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.


  1. Haven’t tried the spatula yet! I have always prefered the feel of his strong hand. aaaa…get hot just thinking about it!

  2. So…does he use his hand…or a spatula? That’s what you call getting into the spirit of kitchen sex!

  3. My kitchen island has been a great place to bend over for a good, erotic spanking. My man loves it when he comes home, walks into the kitchen and sees me bending over for him, jeans pulled down just below my ass. High heels make it an even better visual for him. We both love it!

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