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The Biggest Dirty Talk Mistake Ever

In the heat of the moment, you are bound to say anything. Sometimes you might not even realize what you say, because you are so swept up in the sensations, emotions, and hot fantasies that inevitably happen when great dirty talk is involved. Your lover has probably heard it all from you, and it’s a sure bet that your lack of inhibitions is what has made your sex life red-hot already.

But what happens when you utter the one thing you should never say in bed? What happens when your memory collides with your reality, and the word on your lips is something that makes your lover pull away from you, instantly hurt and angry, not understanding what went wrong and certainly not willing to talk to you about it? How can you dig yourself out of that massive hole you have created with one taboo word?

You’ve done the unthinkable. You’ve said someone else’s name.

The one thing that is not kosher in the heat of passion is the name of your ex. Or the man you dated in college. Or the guy you have been lusting after at the gym. Saying someone else’s name in the middle of lovemaking is a sure-fire way to end the sex right then and there, not to mention the serious relationship problems it could cause.

But sometimes you might slip. And when you do, it’s important to take a few steps immediately, to ensure that the damage is minimal:

Express your apology immediately. Drop everything and tell your lover you are sorry. You don’t know what came over you…you weren’t thinking straight…of course you weren’t, you were too caught up in the heat of passion with your lover! There is no excuse other than that, so don’t try to make one up. Just apologize. Period.

Don’t pull away. Feeling guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed can cause you to pull away from your partner. It’s a natural reaction. Don’t let it happen! The last thing your lover needs is your withdrawal from the situation. Stay close to your lover, touch him, tell him how much you love him.

Consider how you would feel. Would you be sad? Angry? Furious? Uncertain? That’s probably what your lover feels, even if it’s not very clear at the moment. Cater to that by being as open and honest as you can be, and don’t hesitate to praise your lover. They didn’t do anything wrong.

Finally, recognize that in all relationships, no one is perfect. There will be a faux pas every now and then, and this time just happened to be on your end. Dirty talk in the heat of passion really can take you away completely, so that your conscious mind is simply going with the flow and letting your body take over. What you say in those moments of truly hot sex shouldn’t be held against you – and keep that in mind as you work to recover from the big “oops” of saying someone else’s name in bed!

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.


  1. I want to know what the turn offs are while talking dirty, I dont want to ruin a good thing.

  2. This actually happened to me before and it ruined a good thing. I wish I would have read this article before that happened.

    Anyways thanks for the help, your blog is great!

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