When you first began getting into dirty talk, you probably paid attention to every little detail that would rev up your dirty words. Talking naughty took you to new heights, both on a personal level and in your relationship. You were having fun, baby, and so was your lover!
But over time, that dirty talk might have become a bit tame, and you might be a bit frustrated with your lover…and you don’t understand why. Doesn’t he know what you like? Doesn’t she hear enough of your fantasies to know where to go from here? Isn’t your dirty talk hot enough to strip the wallpaper?
Well, yes…and no.
The biggest dirty talk blunder you can make is something that you might already be doing, but you just don’t realize it. The mistake is something that every person makes from time to time, but righting the wrong is as easy as recognizing the problem. Have you guess what that blunder might be?
When you expect someone to “know” you inside and out because they have been with you for a certain amount of time or shared enough of a history with you, you are doing both you and your lover a major disservice. You are expecting them to know how you have grown and changed during that time.
You are expecting them to read your mind.
No matter how well you and your lover know each other, and no matter how long you have been together, or how deeply your “soul mate” title goes, the fact remains: You are growing and changing every day, whether you are in a relationship or not. What you liked last year is probably still on the menu, but other things might have joined in, rounding out the full meaning of who you are. Things that interested you last year might have fallen to the wayside, simply because you got bored with them, or because you’re attention has broadened to include more exciting things.
If you ever reach that point where everything your lover says seems to be wrong, take a long look at yourself. Have you told your partner about your new fantasies? Have you shared new dreams? As you grow and change, are you inviting your partner along for the ride, or just assuming they know you well enough to “get” what you’re thinking?
In essence, are you expecting your lover to read your dirty mind?
Sometimes the mind-reading fantasy works out, and you are both on the same page. But that’s more by coincidence than divine intervention. Before you get upset with your lover for “doing it wrong” remember to tell them what you are thinking. If you share your fantasies, both new and old, your lover will be more inclined to follow your lead…and you will once again feel as though your soul mate is reading your mind!