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Talking Tough Part 3: Making up is fun to do!

The fight is over. Even if you haven’t come to an agreement, you’ve at least come to an understanding and taken the time to really listen to each other. By now, your tempers have cooled, and that familiar passionate feeling you have toward your lover is creeping back in.

 

Before we get to the mind-blowing make-up sex (because, really, that is one of the best parts of making up!), it’s important to make sure that you’ve reconnected mentally and emotionally.

 

Take a few minutes to talk about why you fought in the first place, and how you can avoid falling into the same trap again. Make a commitment to yourself and to each other to change your behavior or attitude so that you don’t end up back at square one. The key here: remember that the only person you can change is yourself. Don’t expect your lover to do all the work!

 

Next, you need to reconnect emotionally. The idea that he owes you flowers after a fight should be thrown out the door.  The greatest gift you can give each other is to spend some time together having fun. Go out for dinner. See a movie. Go for a walk. Do anything that gets the two of you laughing and remembering why you fell in love in the first place.

 

Once you have reconnected mentally and emotionally, by all means go off and have the most mind-blowing make-up sex possible. Physical intimacy is one of the greatest expressions of love you can share with your partner. Whether it’s the quick and dirty against-the-wall sex or an all-night love-in, the two of you will definitely benefit from some tender touching.

 

Here are a few make-up ideas to try out the next time you find yourself locking horns with your lover:

Fighting because the chores aren’t getting done? Make up a game to spice things up. For example: for each chore he finishes, you remove another piece of clothing (make sure to wear your special undies for this game!). Sometimes, all it takes to get the job done  is to throw in a little incentive.

 

Are you both working too hard and not finding the time to connect? Schedule a day of relaxation together. Put it on the calendar. Nothing else can happen that day. Go to a spa and get a couple’s massage, or simply spend the day in bed reconnecting and relaxing. Order in dinner so you don’t have to cook. And turn OFF your cell phones!

 

Money problems? This is a common one for couples to fight about, so if you are having serious money issues, it might not be a bad idea to take a money management class together. As a part of your new fiscal responsibility, create a fun savings goal: go on a vacation, buy a new toy, whatever! Having a dream to work toward together will give you both motivation to be more money-conscious. And, of course, if you are spending less money, that gives you more time together at home to… well, you’ll think of something (just remember: children cost money, so be careful!).

 

The two of you fell in love for a reason. Most things that cause fights between couples can be resolved if you simply take the time to listen to one another, and stand by your commitment to love and respect each other.

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

One comment

  1. Take a few minutes to talk about why you fought in the first place, and how you can avoid falling into the same trap again. Make a commitment to yourself and to each other to change your behavior or attitude so that you don’t end up back at square one. The key here: remember that the only person you can change is yourself.

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