A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend of mine, one who I believed was quite the faithful type. She never looked at other men, never talked about what it might be like to be with someone else, and she showed how much she loved her husband every time she uttered his name. This was the last person on earth who would stray.
But after a few drinks she confessed the truth of their relationship: that she cheated on him, over and over, and he loved it — he even loved to watch!
This wasn’t the first time I had heard of such a thing, but it was the first time I was really taken aback by it. She cheats and he likes it? What gives?
As I quickly learned, quite a lot, in fact.
My friend’s husband loved being a cuckold. The term comes from many different derivations, the most common being that of a bird who lays eggs in another bird’s nest, therefore “stealing” the warmth of the nest and allowing someone else to nurture the children. Cuckolding was first meant to describe a man whose wife was unfaithful, but over time the term has come to describe a fetish in which the man allows or encourages his wife to take a lover, and then describe in detail their sexual encounter, or allow the husband to watch.
How could someone possibly like this? The key lies in biology. When a man knows a woman has been having sex with someone else, there is a biological urge to become the primary male by engaging in sex that is deeper, longer, harder, and more primitive, thus removing the other man’s sperm and replacing it with their own. This urge can make a man crave a woman, to a point of begging her to go to bed with him. A cuckolded man can often have sex multiple times in one night, as opposed to a man who has nothing to “prove” to his partner.
It’s a biological thrill for the woman as well. Over time, the romantic love a woman feels deepens into a more nurturing, protective kind of love. The neurochemicals that fire away in the brain and give you that feeling of euphoria — that feeling of falling in love — gradually decrease as they are replaced with feelings of comfort. When a woman takes a lover, that excitement comes back — and she brings that excitement home to her cuckold husband, thus leading to a wild, passionate sex life they both might have chalked up to being gone for good.
After doing the research and hearing what my friend had to say, is there any wonder that they look happier today than the day they were married? Their sexual exploits are not something the rest of the world would guess, but those naughty times are the secret to their marital success. While cheating might not be the best thing for all couples, for those who understand the implications of what their partner is doing and offer their full consent, cuckolding might be the spark that lights the permanent flame in their relationship.
Cheating as a good thing? Who would have guessed?