A lot of people are feeling the pinch these days. You and your lover may be cutting back on a lot of things that used to enrich your relationship. It can be stressful to have to change your lifestyle because of things that may be out of your control. And there’s no doubt that financial road bumps can cause a lot of strain in any relationship.
My husband and I have had that “for richer or poorer” part of our wedding vows put to the test, and found that no matter what else is going on in our lives, as long as we stay emotionally and physically intimate with each other, we come out on the other end just fine.
The link between stress levels and sex has been scientifically proven – the more sex you have, the lower your stress levels. And the opposite generally holds true: the more you let stress get to you, the lower your libido drops.
Once you get caught up in that stress-spiral, it’s hard to break free. Forcing yourself to have sex when you aren’t in the mood isn’t the ideal solution, either. You don’t want to enter into sex reluctantly, because it sends the wrong signals and can cause hurt feelings.
After one particularly bad stretch of several weeks with very little sexual intimacy, my husband finally asked me what he could possibly do to put me in the mood for sex. And that was the key – he didn’t try to talk me into having sex, he asked how he could put me in the mood. And rather than angrily snap back at him that I was too stressed, I gave it some serious thought.
My solution? A back rub and a naughty story. And, boy, did that do the trick! He eased away my stress with the back rub while enticing my libido with the dirty talk. I finally broke free of the stress-spiral, and after several more nights of stress-reducing romance, we got our sex life back to normal. And with our improved physical intimacy, we found we were talking more and were able to face our problems together, rather than stressing about them separately.
Who in their right mind would choose all-consuming stress over mind-blowing sex? If you find stress is harming your libido, talk to your lover and do something about it. You’ll be glad you did!