Online Dating: How to Make it Clear What You Want

Online dating can seem like a whole other planet. More and more people are turning to online dating as their lives get too busy to date by conventional means, and others prefer online dating because they like to get to know someone without the artifice of looks or traditional dates. Still others have exhausted their local dating pool and want to reach out to other places in the world where they might find the love of their life.

But as more and more people turn to online dating, it becomes tougher to figure out what someone wants. Are you looking for a one-night stand? Sex with a stranger? A new friend with benefits? Dirty talk via cyber? Or do you want to find love with someone who really wants that happily-ever-after fairytale?

The best way to figure out what a potential date wants is to make it very clear what YOU are looking for. If a potential partner is looking for someone to bang for a night, they are going to run the other way when they see that you are looking for a serious relationship. Those who really want a serious relationship will gravitate toward your personal ads, chat sessions, and the like. Here’s how to make it crystal clear what you want to have, and more importantly, what you don’t:

Be very clear. When you fill out your online dating profile, make it clear what you want from the start. Saying “who knows where it might lead” tells the responder absolutely nothing worthwhile. Know what you want, and if you aren’t sure, make that clear, too. But if you aren’t sure, at least list the things you are open to. Perhaps you would be more than happy to have phone sex? Maybe you want to cyber your brains out? Are you open to making the leap from online dating to the physical world and actually meet the potential partner?

Be open to change. Your thoughts on what you want from online dating might change after a few attempts at finding that special someone. Be ready to change your online dating profile if you decide something different is in the cards. Contrary to the past beliefs that online dating was all about hookups, it has now become clear that meeting someone over the internet is quite common, and it is used for many different reasons. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to be looking for one particular thing.

Be yourself. Never pretend to be something or someone you are not. If you do meet someone fantastic, that little white lie in the beginning will come back to haunt you in the end. Be honest about who you are and what you want, and you might be surprised at how well internet dating will work out for you.

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