Sex tips… We all want better sex right? There is one thing you need to know, the secret to better sex is to leave the bedroom.
The bedroom. My, if those walls could talk.
They’d give you narratives on which lover’s have walked in and out. Which guy had the biggest dick; which woman had the best tits. Those walls could describe positions not taught in books but also hilarious failures upon which you fell out of the bed in a drunken stupor. The fights. The laughs. The tears. The sex.
Something quite comforting about making love in a bedroom. It’s where it’s always been done. That’s where it’s comfortable. But sometimes comfortable can get a little redundant and boring. I mean you can only add so many toppings to a vanilla sundae, before you realize that’s all it is… a vanilla sundae. Sometimes you need to break out and start fucking in exotic places. Sometimes you need to go for the banana split. Or the parfait.
So, here are a few places that are sure to help out in that department.
The Great Outdoors – There’s nothing like the crisp clean air, the gurgles of the river and the songs from the birds. Camping is a perfect place to let your wild, animalistic, sexual nature out. You can utilize the trees and boulders for stability in kinky positions. And the best part: BE AS LOUD AS YOU WANT! NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU!
Restrooms – Though they may usually seem icky (I’m not talking about a truck stop bathroom, here), but some bathrooms can be steamy. At a nice restaurant, or a classy bar, there’s nothing like zipping away for a quickly in the stall to help digest your meal. Psst! Try to get the stall with the handicap bars for leverage.
The Movies – You dropped $40 on that piece of crap movie. You’ve seen better film on teeth. That’s fine. Get your money’s worth and find a seat in the back row. Grind each other until that lousy Michael Bay movie seems like a foreign film with a purpose.
Go Back Home – Nobody said you had to leave the house. Just leave the bedroom. Go to the kitchen. Pull out some fruit and whipped cream. Use that counter for making more than dinner. Fuck each other’s brains out on the coffee table. Go ahead, break the table’s legs. That thing was hideous anyhow and didn’t match the other furniture.