When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you know how to build intimacy. You know how that relationship works, and you know what turns that person on. You know how to push the buttons that will get you what you want in bed, and your confidence builds. No wonder so many married couples look like the cat that caught the canary!
But if you’re looking at a one-night stand or a new lover, talking dirty is not as easy. You don’t know that person well, and you don’t have the opportunity to try out all kinds of different things. You don’t have the luxury of a great deal of time spent together. You are basically flying blind and hoping that somebody takes the lead.
Talking dirty to your new lover is all about watching his cues and knowing when to back off and when to push forward. Once you have that man in bed, start with some dirty talk by asking him questions. This gives him the chance to take the dirty talk situation and run with it! If he has a lot to say, you will know it immediately, and you can expect an evening of hot and naughty talking to commence!
But if your new lover seems a bit shy or doesn’t want to talk dirty, you’ve got an interesting situation on your hands. You can start out by asking those questions, but if he doesn’t respond in the way you had hoped, it’s time to move on to something else.
You can try the in-your-face tactic: “I love talking dirty, don’t you? I love it hot and nasty!” That makes your intentions clear. But if you’re not the overt kind, consider the more subtle dirty talk: The fantasy that begins with a few words and builds to a crescendo.
When you’re doing something naughty to your new lover, keep up a running commentary about what you’re doing. If you’re going down on him, stop now and then to tell him how good he tastes, or how good this feels, and ask him if he’s watching, and if he enjoys it. The more you talk, the more he’s likely to talk back. In the heat of the moment, you can whisper naughty words into his ear while you bring him to the finish line.
If dirty talk with your lover doesn’t go well the first time, don’t fret. After all, it was the first time! Practice makes perfect, and that’s the same with dirty talk. Over time, you will become more comfortable with pulling your lover out of his shell. In the meantime, practice away!