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How to Talk Dirty on the Internet

Talking dirty on the internet is one of the sweeter joys of jumping into the World Wide Web. Whether you are talking to your long-term lover while he’s on a business trip or discussing sexual thoughts with a perfect stranger, the internet can keep your sex life lively. Here are a few pointers on how to talk dirty on the internet:

Keep it simple. When you’re talking dirty on the internet, keep your words simple and your thoughts clear. Don’t be coy and beat around the bush on what you want to say – just say it! Often internet dirty talk is fast and furious, and that’s why you should never hesitate to say what you want.

Keep it short. Type only enough characters to fill up one line on your instant messenger box, and then hit send. Do this quickly, and you can keep the conversation moving quickly. When you’re engaging in cybersex, it’s easier on the eyes to read one line at a time – and it helps when your attention span has disintegrated into nothing because you’re so turned on!

Get yours first. If you don’t know the person you are fooling around with, be sure to get your pleasure first. Why? Many people will cut and run as soon as they get off. Whether they are afraid of being caught by someone else or they are simply out to get their rocks off and nothing more, those are the people who can leave you hot and bothered with nothing to show for it. Get yourself off first, and then walk the other person through their own pleasure.

Hook up with the same people. If you want to avoid the “cut and run” syndrome, only have cybersex with a select few people. Over time you will get to know their likes and dislikes, what turns them on, and what gets them off. They will be able to do the same for you. Meeting the same people online every time you want to talk dirty on the internet will make you feel much more secure in opening up those deepest, darkest fantasies.

Don’t be shy! Going to a chat room to find a dirty talk partner doesn’t do you any good if you simply sit there and watch everyone else talk. Seek out someone you like. Check out their online profiles. Approach them with an invitation to talk, or if they seem to be in the mood for something a bit more intimate, tell them you’re ready for a bit of dirty talk right now! As with all things dirty, when you know what you want, you have to go for it – and that is oh-so-true when you’re talking dirty on the internet.

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

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  • Brez

    Well, how do I get over that awkward stage? When I read something dirty, I get all giggly and shy and I literally hide under my shirt with only my eyes peeking out and my mind goes numb.
    But see, I can’t do that halfassed shit. Where people talk like they’re 12:
    i cum all over ur tits.
    Like OMG, we aren’t kids, we’re adults, let’s talk like it.
    I love details, ya know? But my mind stutters on what to say.
    I don’t like being repetitive and boring.
    Like for example:
    I slowly lick my tongue from the base of your cock to the tip, wrapping my lips around it and kissing back down to your base.

    How do I go into the talk of giving a blowjob again without sounding the same?
    There are only so few different words for penis and sucking.
    But the same words and details get boring.
    And how much details should I give?
    Like, I want to be able to imagine the other person and them imagine me.
    But what’s too much and not enough??

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