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How to Talk Dirty in the Bedroom

Talking dirty to your lover in the bedroom can be difficult for some. But if you are falling into bed together for the first time after a long-distance relationship or a phone-sex connection, it can be even more difficult. Learning to transition from the “explaining everything” aspect of phone sex to the “right here and right now” mentality can be tough on any couple.

How do you make a smooth transition from the “fantasy” side to the “reality” side? Here are a few pointers:

Remember that when you had phone sex, you had to explain everything. You had to create a movie in your lover’s mind. Now that you are together, you don’t have to talk as much — there is no play-by-play of words! When you are tempted to start describing something, do it with short phrases. You can even replace some of the usual words with moans and groans.

Sometimes, less is more. When you’re touching each other for the first time in a very long time, or when you’re just finally discovering each other after a long phone sex relationship, take your time. You’ve had nothing but words up until this point, so why not have sex without them? Let your emotions do the talking and keep your words in the back of your mind.

Remember your partner’s fantasies. What did they tell you over the phone? What did they want to do when you were finally together? Now is the time to fulfill those dreams! Plan ahead by getting any props you might need, including sex toys or lingerie. Let your lover see that you really were paying attention when they said they had a certain fetish or wanted to live out a certain fantasy with you.

Be prepared for the reality. Keep in mind that what you see in your mind when you are having phone sex might be quite different from what you actually get. Phone sex has no limits — physical sex, obviously, does. Don’t be disappointed! Prepare for the reality of it by reminding yourself that you will get what you want, but you might not get ALL of what you want at first. Just as with anything else about a relationship, finding a good sexual vibe takes some time. Don’t shortchange your relationship by giving up when things don’t go your way on that very first intimate date.

Finally, make lots of memories. If you’re in a phone sex relationship because of long distances between the two of you, you might have to go back to having phone sex after your physical encounter is over. Make memories that will give you plenty of fodder for future phone sex hookups — and enjoy the moments you have with your hotter than hot partner!

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

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