Okay, so we love to hear you talk dirty to us, guys. We love to hear all about what you want to do and how you want to do it, preferably with the most colorful words we can imagine. We want to see your fantasies in our heads while we’re in bed with you. We want to share in your every wild sensual dream, and have our own orgasm while doing it.
But what we might not want to hear about is your ex…and how bad the sex was…and how you tried this position or that one, but nothing seemed to get her off…and we certainly don’t need to hear about what your ex loved in bed. There are just some things, my friend, that are “TMI” — too much information!
What do you do when you’re confronted with the guy who just won’t shut up about things that don’t matter to the current relationship? It’s important to know if any of his previous partners had an STD or if they might pose some threat to your time together (like a psycho ex-girlfriend floating around somewhere), but beyond that, do you really need to know how she liked her fucking?
When it comes to a TMI guy, there are two ways to tell him he’s crossed the line. One is to show how uncomfortable you are, through your body language and the look on your face. You can also simply tell him, “I’m not sure that is something I’m supposed to know about someone else,” and let him take the hint. However, many TMI guys are oblivious to hints like that, and they simply want to talk and talk and talk…
The second way is to be blunt, and in most cases, that’s what you will have to do. The TMI guy is focused on the wrong things, and he needs a firm push in the right direction. What happened with his ex did help shape who he is, but that doesn’t mean she deserves space at the table for two you’ve reserved for this relationship.
Tell your TMI guy flat-out that you don’t want to hear about his ex, and then explain why: Talking about her takes him back to the past, and it’s time to move forward. You don’t need to have every nuance of his personality — and why it got that way — explained to you. That’s part of the fun of the relationship as you learn about each other, and you want to get the long version, not the Cliff Notes Ex-Girlfriend Version.
If your TMI guy has a problem with that, then maybe he’s not ready to let go of his ex, and he needs to get his house in order, so to speak, before you can have something lasting and meaningful. State your case for the TMI overload, and then let your guy decide if he’s ready to move forward, or if he wants to continue to live in the past.