For most of us, dirty talk is hot, sexy, and can often stray into the realm of taboo subjects. Dirty talk is meant to be filthy, blush-inducing naughty words that can make your whole body tingle with the thrill of something so illicit.
But from time to time, there comes a person who doesn’t like the filthy smut that falls so easily from your lips. They have entirely different ideas of what turns somebody on, and they are determined to use those ideas. They make the kind of comments that don’t turn you on so much as they make you roll your eyes and long for something…well,l something dirty.
You’ve just met the romantic dirty talker.
The romantic dirty talker is often someone who believes in the power of love and romance. They think sex is a spiritual experience, and should be revered as such, each and every time you get naked together. They don’t want to say anything to offend you while you’re in bed. Even more, they want you to know exactly how they feel, in every emotion-laden detail.
The romantic dirty talker can nip passion right in the bud. They don’t mean to do it — they simply think that what turns them on is what gets you off, too. They like to imagine you in a silk robe, dipping a toe into a warm bubble bath, candles everywhere, and rose petals on the waiting bed. They like to take every love scene from a classic movie and act it out in their own bedroom. The thought of acting out something from a porn movie is appalling at best, and a relationship-breaker at worst.
So how do you handle the romantic dirty talker?
In a case like this, there are two options. First, you can hope that your partner is open-minded and willing to try some naughtier talk on for size. Who knows? They might find their inner slut and shock you with all those dirty words they have kept under lock and key for so long! In this case, you won’t know until you ask, so have an honest, frank discussion about what turns you on, and what doesn’t. You will know from their reaction if there is hope for getting down and dirty.
The second option happens when you realize your partner is truly not into the raunchy stuff, and wants only candlelight and romance. If you simply can’t stomach the touchy-feely romance they want to have with you, then it’s time to make some hard decisions about the relationship you’re in. Dirty talk is a component of a good sex life, and if you are the kind who loves the raunch, chances are you will be very unhappy, every soon. And that spells doom for your relationship.
Is your partner open-minded? Are they willing to give it a go? Next week we’ll talk about how to ease your partner into naughty dirty talk without scaring them away!