Naughty talk in public is fun. So is naughty talk over the phone, over the internet, on the bus, on the subway, while driving to your parents’ house in the car, while behind closed doors at work, and even while handling all those errands throughout the day — that’s what Bluetooth headsets were created for, right?
But dirty talk in the privacy of your own home can be a special thing between two lovers. What you say in the bedroom makes good on all the teasing you did in public. When you close the bedroom door behind you, make sure your love nest is made for…well, loving. Here are a few simple tips to put the “zing” back in your bedroom decor — and they are not what you expect!
Clean off the top of that dresser. Who says the action has to happen on the bed? Leave part of your low-rise dresser clear so you can sit on top of it. The angle is perfect for any position you might want to try, and the sturdiness of the furniture and nearby wall can give you a ton of leverage. Get even more creative by placing a recliner in the corner of the bedroom and practicing some moves on it.
Buy a full-length mirror. This is self-explanatory, isn’t it? The only better dirty talk than describing what you feel is describing what you see — and letting your partner see it, too. Mirrors can show you all sorts of eye-opening things, and they might even become your favorite sex toy.
Hang a sexy swing. Want to take those positions to even greater heights? Invest in a sex swing. Hang it from the load-bearing beams in your ceiling, so you won’t have any risk of bringing the house down when things get rowdy. Sex swings can allow for almost weightless positions that you can’t try in any other way.
Invest in that big television — and that porn collection. Who says a television doesn’t belong in the bedroom? Hook it up to a DVD player and dedicate it to your porn collection. You can also invest in a gaming laptop if you prefer not to put a big flatscreen in your bedroom, and play your porn while you get it on.
Frame those sexy pics. Have sensual pictures made of you and your lover. Have them done professionally in a studio, and then choose the best ones to have blown up to poster size. Frame them and hang them on the walls in your bedroom. Want to keep them anonymous? Make a point of having the photographer avoid your faces and just focus on your bodies.
Make your bed the perfect playground. Despite all the experimentation around the bedroom, the good old-fashioned bed is still the gold standard for playtime. Keep a box of toys under the bed, lubes in the side drawer, and other goodies hidden around, like that set of handcuffs that are hidden by your pillows. Invest in nice linens, soft pillows, and several shaped pillows to help out with interesting positions.