Imagine this: You’re in the middle of a hot and dirty sex session, and the dirty talk is oh-so-naughty. Your partner suddenly whips out a fantasy that you have never heard before, never even considered, in fact — and while your partner thinks it is the sexiest thing ever, you aren’t so sure. But it’s just a fantasy, right? So you go with it…and then you remember, in the midst of the afterglow, about how much that fantasy turned your lover on.
It was just a fantasy, right? Or was it something more?
It’s a situation many lovers will have to deal with, and knowing how to handle it properly can be tough. If you are the jealous type, wondering about that particular fantasy could eat you alive. Did he really do it? Was it really as good as he made it sound? Does he want to do it again? What if I can’t bring myself to do that?
On the other hand, you might not be jealous of what has happened in your lover’s past, but you could be quite concerned about what happens in his future. That’s a good reason to get to the bottom of his fantasy and determine whether it is something he might truly want to try again, if he ever really tried it at all.
If you are the jealous type, the best advice is to leave it alone. You want to know for all the wrong reasons. And after all, when will the questions cease? Once you begin to delve into that closet of your lover’s past, you will find a lot of skeletons you might want to examine. The closer you get to his past, the more your jealous bone will ache. Don’t you want to live in the here and now, and create your own juicy details, rather than relive those he had before you came along?
If you aren’t the jealous type but you are still truly curious, ask yourself why you want to know. Does the fantasy turn you on as well? Do you want to fulfill it? Does it make you question your partner’s sexual desires, and make you wonder if you can fulfill them all? This is when communication comes into play, and intimacy is key. Talk about the fantasy together, without judgment or too many questions.
Finally, if you do go down that road, make certain that the fantasy is something you will entertain, and might actually do. Don’t dig into his fantasy life and get his hopes up only to shoot them down! Take the time to consider whether you would be interested in fulfilling the fantasy before you have the “do you want to do this?” talk. You will be doing both of you a favor!