Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who wanted to talk dirty all the time? Have you ever been in bed with someone who suddenly blurted out something they thought was incredibly hot — but you thought it was taboo, or wrong, or absolutely disgusting? In the heat of the moment, dirty talk might lead to anything. But that’s a good thing, and there’s a reason you should be proud of yourself if your lover starts babbling on about things outside your realm of comprehension.
Really good dirty talk builds up from a few words to a crescendo of pleasure. You might begin with moans and sighs, then turn to words that explain what you want and how you feel, and soon you’re off to the races, spinning fantasy tales and roleplaying scenarios that have been lingering in the back of your mind.
The more comfortable you become with each other, the more fantasies you share. The more open you become, the more willing you are to look at things that might not have turned you on before, and actually consider them further now. That doesn’t mean you would do them — but it does mean they cross your mind more often, and can make for hot fantasy fodder.
That’s when the heat of the moment can get…well, heated. Being very comfortable with your lover, and knowing that you can say anything without being judged, opens the floodgates to even more explicit dirty talk. And when you’re that comfortable, you might say just about anything. Being in the heat of the moment means you can let anything and everything go, and what you say at that moment might not be anything you would ever say at any other time. That’s part of the thrill of the sexual game, isn’t it?
When your lover breaks out the hardcore dirty talk, you might be surprised. When they bring up a taboo subject that you thought was off-limits, you might be shocked. And you might be stunned when they whisper a request into your ear that you thought would never, ever float their boat.
But don’t let that shock take over — instead, take a deep breath and recognize that your lover is comfortable enough with you, and open enough with you, to say whatever comes to mind, no matter what it is. Their openness means they trust you — and that bodes very well for your relationship.
So if you’re not into hardcore dirty talk, that’s fine…but if your lover breaks out the big guns, just smile and thank them in the afterglow. They trust you, and that makes the sex so much hotter!