Once upon a time, I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. If he wasn’t blabbing about the latest crazy thing his buddies did, he was spreading rumors about what they should have done. He became a gossip maven, the one who knew everything about everybody and knew which rumors were true. The gossip mill started and ended with him. So was I surprised when the breakup came and those rumors about me began to fly?
The sweet and sexy dirty talk you have in the bedroom can turn into rumors and innuendo if feelings get hurt. Here’s how to handle the gossip mill before it has a chance to handle you:
-Find out who your friends are. Rumors and gossip will sting less if you have a group of friends who know the score and won’t be swayed by the nasty rumors they hear. Gossip about you might be true, and it might not – but the best of your friends won’t give a damn one way or the other, because they know the true you.
– Realize that it matters to some. There will be a few people who avoid you because of a rumor, or who indulge in the gossip and believe that what they hear is the gospel. If you meet someone like this, chances are they are not the kind of person you want in your life anyway, so thank them for doing you a favor by being close-minded.
– Protect yourself legally. Rumors and innuendo are one thing, but gossip that moves into the realm of libel and slander is quite another. If you hear terrible things spewed by your ex, and you can prove they are not true, or you can prove that they are affecting your life adversely, you can hire an attorney and get the gossip mill going full-tilt — only this time, it’s absolutely real, and your ex is going to be very sorry.
– Go with it! Make fun of the gossip and rumors, and trust that those around you will get your sense of humor. If you hear rumors that you enjoy gangbangs, for instance, just raise an eyebrow and say, “Sure. Want to join in?” It diffuses the situation and nips the rumors in the bud because you were able to talk about it with a grin.