You’ve heard people described as “such a flirt;” and you, too, want to be able to harness that skill. Flirting is fun because it not only fulfills some of your instinctual needs to interact with others, but it also demonstrates to others your degree of interest in them. Likewise, the response to your flirtation indicates the degree of interest in you.
Along with being fun, flirting can be a very useful tool in the art of human interaction. So why not hone up on some methods to make sure it is in working order before you next pull it out of your tool box?
Eye Contact: Looking directly into the eyes of another person is powerful; and if that look lingers for just a moment longer than typical, it can serve as a silent message. The key is to actually feel your eyes locking on another’s while your mind is speaking whatever you intend it to convey: I find you attractive, I want to learn about you, I desire you, I want to kiss you, etc.
Physical Distance: Human behaviorists agree that standing any distance less than 4’ from another brings you into that person’s personal zone. With that knowledge, allow yourself to only move slowly when entering that zone so you can gauge reaction and move no quicker than is comfortable for the other.
Gestures: Similar to eye contact, gestures convey silent messages that signal interest. As such, you can signal interest in your partner using appropriate gestures when speaking or listening. For example, if you are relaying something light-hearted or comical, open your palm(s) at the moment of laughter; if your partner shares something with you, make certain you are responsive by nodding your head at appropriate times to convey interest and understanding.
Voice: When in a conversation, it’s key to remember that the use or tone of words can communicate intention. Similar to eye contact and gestures, the use of your voice can be a sure fire way to convey interest. Use words such as wow, really, and you’re kidding to let the person know you are fully engaged in what they have to say.
Touch: Touching can be one of the most powerful tools; and as such, it needs to be monitored the closest. As in all examples of flirting, it needs to start out appropriately; such as a gentle, non-lingering touch while sharing laughter, or a gentle, non-lingering touch while conveying understanding.
In all of these examples, if there is even the slightest uncomfortable response chances are you have either used a tool too quickly or that person is just not receptive to you. And with that, you’ve obtained critical information to either slow things down or stop entirely since that person may not even be reciprocally interested in you.
However, if you notice that you and your partner’s eye contact, gestures, or touches become matched, that’s a sure sign there is mutual interest.