When it comes to talking dirty, sometimes you just don’t know where to start. It’s a common problem for everyone, whether they have been talking dirty for years or never uttered a single dirty word in their lives. This primer will give you a few tips on where to begin.
Project Confidence. Good dirty talk is all about confidence. Maybe you don’t know how to talk dirty – but you do know you’re a sensual, sexual person willing to try out new things. If you start there, you can figure out all the rest! If you’re not very confidence about your sexual prowess, now is the time to ramp it up. Pick up books on sexuality and fantasy, read all you can on the internet about sexual technique and fetishes, and spend some time alone, just you and your vibrator, while you figure out what feels good to you. The more you learn, the better a lover you will be.
Listen to Your Lover’s Cues. When you are ready to talk dirty to your lover, listen to their cues and comments. They will tell you how to proceed, even if they don’t realize they are doing it. You will know when you hit a “hot button” because their words and their tone will change. Their breathing will get deeper and their body will respond. If you aren’t getting a response, it might be time to switch tactics. Don’t worry – it sounds daunting, but you will get the hang of it!
Get Creative. Let your fantasies fly. The fun of dirty talk is in the creativity it affords you. You can choose to be anyone you want, do anything you want, and be with anyone you want – it’s all in the safe confines of your fantasy world. So let your partner know what turns you on! Just because you have a certain fantasy doesn’t mean you want to fulfill it. As long as you and your partner understand that the fantasies you tell each other are meant to be shared in your bedroom and nowhere else, what is there to hide?
Don’t Be Shy! Finally, don’t be shy. If you feel yourself clamming up or getting nervous, take a deep breath and go in a different direction. Just because one aspect of something makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean you rule out the whole thing, right? It’s the same way with dirty talk. If you are shy talking about one particular aspect of your sexuality, turn to something else and run with that instead. Eventually, your inhibitions will drop and you will be much more open to any dirty talk path you might find.