Okay, let’s be honest…from time to time, sex just won’t work the way we had planned or hoped. Sometimes you’re too tired…sometimes he has a pulled muscle in his back that makes sex impossible…sometimes you really DO have a headache. Occasional problems with libido are usually just that – occasional.
But what do you do when the problems last longer than an evening, and your sex life goes downhill because of it?
First of all, be understanding. Just because your sex drive is on the fritz or your man can’t get it up doesn’t mean your sex life is doomed. There are often physical reasons for the libido issues, and those can be readily addressed. Virtually everyone will have a problem with libido at one time or another, so when it happens to you, don’t panic!
Talk about the problem with your partner. If you don’t feel like having sex, say so. If something is worrying you, say that, too. A drop in sex drive for a few days or even a few weeks might just be a part of your physical cycle, and when it returns, you will have worried for nothing. But if the changes are out of the ordinary for you and last for a long time, it’s a good idea to talk to your partner about it and discuss what to do.
Do not be afraid to talk to the doctor about your concerns. Doctors have heard everything and then some – your problem won’t shock them, and they will probably have a variety of solutions to try. Going to the doctor for help is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of strength! You are doing what you have to do to make sure you are healthy and your sexual relationships are strong. That is taking good care of you, and you should be proud of doing that.
Finally, keep the lines of communication open. If there is a problem the two of you need to address, then do it. Rule out all physical reasons first, and if there seems to be nothing amiss, you might need to seek other explanations. Don’t let problems fester. If you think your lack of libido might be caused by an emotional or mental hurdle in your relationship, don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor about the idea.
Problems with libido don’t have to turn into long-term relationship problems. Address the issue as soon as it becomes worrisome, and don’t let up until you have answers. You owe it to your partner, and more importantly, you owe it to yourself!