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Does Making Love Have to be Romantic?

Does it strike anyone else as being odd that when most people think of making love they think romance, soft lighting and gentle touches? How about when movies and television portray a couple “swept away” with passion? Aren’t those romantic images and seamless position changes wonderful? Of course they are, but in reality making love isn’t usually like that, and anyone who has actually done the dirty deed know that romantic sex, no matter how romantically it begins, doesn’t quite end the same way. Along the way nature takes over.

First off there is the fact that the reality of changing positions usually involves the blankets landing on the floor, or a foot becoming tangled, even losing your balance and toppling on your partner.  Also sadly, reality can involve muscle cramps, an evasive orgasm and even the possibility of being interrupted by the cat, the dog, or the children. You don’t know about the instant loss of arousal caused by a dog staring at you until you experience it.

Sure, in your fantasies everything goes off without a hitch, you are madly passionate, lost in your own sex charged world, and the only thing going through both of your minds is how wonderful it is to make love together. In the real world you often have to fit sex in during the few minutes before you fall asleep each night. There is often no romance involved, instead it is just two people who know how to get the other one to where they are going without wasting any time.

So while you may dream of a smooth, romantic and passionate round of lovemaking, more often than not you will find that you end up with an all too human experience that includes some not so attractive noises, some not so graceful moves and some serious concentration to achieve an orgasm.

So go ahead and embrace the sex life that you have, making love doesn’t have to be romantic or pretty, the reality is that sex between you and your partner can be whatever you want it to be. Whether you are talking dirty throughout or being silent, whether you stick with missionary position or shake things up by switching around, whether you do it in the bed or on the kitchen counter, your sex life is yours, and you have complete freedom to explore whatever you want as long as it is consensual between you and your partner.

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

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