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Dirty Talk Misunderstandings: How to Clear the Air

Can dirty talk go awry? It’s unlikely, but possible. From time to time, someone is going to screw up in bed — and no, we don’t mean in a good way! Every now and then, despite your best of intentions, you will launch into dirty talk that doesn’t set well with your significant other. Something might pop out of your mouth in the heat of passion, something that you immediately with you could take back. How serious that dirty talk flub is determines how you should handle it.

If your dirty talk mistake is a very minor one, such as using a word that you know your partner doesn’t like — but it just slipped out — then you can get off the hook rather easily. After all, it’s a word that just came out of your mouth — it isn’t like you planned a dirty talk annoyance! Your lover will probably understand how that can happen, because they have likely done the same thing from time to time. Apologize for your dirty talk oversight, laugh it off, and move on.

Dirty talk that edges into uncomfortable territory is the next level, and that’s not as easy to fix. Perhaps you launched into a dirty talk scenario about the threesome you want to have, but your partner doesn’t want to give it a shot. Maybe you talked dirty about this naughty notion until your lover asked, “Have you really done that, or is it just dirty talk?” That kind of question, delivered in an accusing tone, can tell you that your dirty talk has struck a nerve — and not a good one. This is the kind of situation where you need to be very careful about your answers. “I want to do it with you” or “what do you think about doing it?” or anything that deflects the heat is a good thing.

If your dirty talk includes someone else’s name, or talking about a dirty incident that happened with someone else — and you make it clear by naming names — then you’re in deep trouble. That’s the kind of dirty talk flub that you really can’t explain away. You might be contrite, apologetic, and as loving as possible — but that doesn’t mean your lover will accept it. After all, you were thinking of someone else when you were in bed with them, right? How would you feel about such a thing if the situation were reversed?

If you have a very open and honest communication, this might be easier to overcome, but it’s still a big dirty talk mistake, and it still calls for a major apology.

Have you experienced a dirty talk mistake? How did it turn out?

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

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