Yesterday, a good friend of mine was asking about this blog, and about dirty talk in general. She said she felt very intimidated by the thought of dirty talk, mostly because it meant she had to change everything about her approach to sex — or so she thought.
“I’m doing everything right,” she insisted. “Why would I want to change now?”
I tried to explain to her that dirty talk isn’t a change — it’s an enhancement. Dirty talk makes everything you do in bed a richer, fuller, more complete experience. It doesn’t have to mean you change your entire attitude toward sex…it just means you throw a little spice into the mix.
Unless you want things to change, of course…and that’s where it gets interesting!
If you love what you’re doing in bed, by all means, keep it up. But when you add dirty talk into the mix, you are enhancing your lovemaking with deeper communication, and that leads to deeper intimacy. Silence while having sex makes it tough to tell your partner what you want — but if you are talking dirty, soon the desires will flow out of your lips, and there will be no doubt what turns you on. That leads to a more satisfying sexual encounter.
But what if you do think things in the bedroom are a bit stale? Dirty talk allows you to test the uncharted waters. Does your lover need you to be more forceful, more subtle, more heated? Dirty talk can tell you what they want. If their fantasy involves more of a dominant or submissive role, you can follow along accordingly…and yes, it might change the dynamic of your bedroom play, but it changes it in a very good way. The “enhancement” is now the “action” that you have always wanted!
Dirty talk opens those lines of communication in other parts of your life, too. The more open you are in the bedroom, the more likely you will be to broach other subjects that might be tough to bring up. The more you and your lover talk in bed, the higher the comfort factor you will have when you’re fully dressed. I’ve even heard people say that dirty talk saved their relationship…and maybe it wasn’t the talk itself, but the result of it. Whatever it was, doors were opened, and their relationship became stronger for it.
Are you ready to take that plunge? You don’t have to change what you do or how you do it — you just have to enhance it with a few well-placed words and fantasies. Try it tonight and see what happens!