From time to time we get comments here at Dirty Talk 101 asking about dirty talk phrases for the lesbian lover. It got us to thinking…what’s dirty talk like for lesbian lovers? Is it really any different than dirty talk with anyone else? Do you need a different approach, or even different words, when you are with a member of the same sex?
So I sat down with a few friends and asked a few questions, and their responses were a bit surprising.
My friend Karen is an out-and-proud lesbian, and when I asked her about dirty talk and how talking to a lesbian lover is different than talking to a male lover. She snorted with laughter and at first said there was no difference – dirty is dirty, baby – but then she took a different perspective. “Sometimes you have to be very careful,” she said. “It’s almost as though women expect men to call them sluts and whores and bitches in bed, because that’s always been a part of dirty talk for men. But when you’re with a lesbian lover, those words are either way off limits or much more loving. It depends on the woman, really.”
Angela is bi-sexual, and she had very strong views on the difference between dirty talk with men and dirty talk with women. “With women, dirty talk is more hardcore,” she said. “You can say anything and it’s considered sexy. With a man, you have to be a bit more careful.” Why is that, I asked? “Men seem have more taboos when it comes to sex. If you tell a man you’re going to fuck his ass hard, or that you want him to fist you, that might be enough to make him lose an erection and turn him off completely,” she pointed out. “But when you say that to a woman, she’s usually going to be into it.”
So is it an ego thing? “I think it’s an openness thing,” Angela said. “When a woman comes out, she’s embracing all parts of her sexuality. So she’s bound to be ready to explore it all, and she still hasn’t found her boundaries yet. Men who are straight, and have always been straight, probably set their boundaries a long time ago.”
So while it’s true that hotter than hot dirty talk is good for any relationship, it seems the naughtiest dirty talk might be found in the realm of lesbian love. So what do you think? Tell us your opinion in the comments section!