Is dirty talk demeaning?
A friend of mine asked just the other day: “Do you really let your husband talk dirty to you?”
“Yes,” I said simply. “Sometimes I even talk dirty to him!”
She was utterly appalled that I would participate in such a thing. To be honest, I was floored by that. Why wouldn’t I participate in something that was so much fun? In the bedroom, anything goes, or so I’ve always thought…so the first time my husband told me to “talk dirty like a whore,” I was more than happy to oblige!
But there are many people out there who see dirty talk as demeaning. If that dirty talk involves calling names — like “whore,” for instance — then it becomes an even bigger taboo.
So imagine my friend’s surprise when I went a bit farther and confessed that my husband and I loved to play with bondage from time to time, and that bringing a bit of dominant and submissive into the bedroom was something we adored. “Until you’ve been tied up and spanked and called a dirty bad girl, you have no idea what you’re missing!” I said. Of course, I said it with a wink. I knew she would blush, and I was right. She stammered something about having to go home and took off like a bat out of hell.
Now, I’m the first to say that if something makes you uncomfortable, you should not do it. Period. That includes dirty talk. But if you are comfortable with it, why not? I don’t know a single woman who would like to be called a whore outside of the bedroom, but once you’re behind closed doors, that’s a whole other story.
That’s why I’ve never considered dirty talk demeaning. How can it be demeaning if it is a choice you have made? If someone calls you a name on the street and it shocks you, hurts your feelings, makes you feel guilty or even worse, then you have just walked into a demeaning situation. But if you are engaging in dirty talk with a loving partner and having a whole lot of fun while doing it, you’re not in a demeaning situation. In fact, it’s just the opposite. You’re in an empowering situation.
So the next time someone asks you how you feel about dirty talk, let them know that there is a place and a time for everything — and you happen to like being a little whore every now and then!