We do a lot of talking about naughty things here at Dirty Talk 101. Much of it involves the hot things you can do with your partner, including dirty talk so ferocious it could make even a sailor blush. But even as you read all these great tips and tricks, ask yourself about what is best for you…what are your boundaries? Just how far do you want your dirty, naughty, downright nasty sex to go?
Setting boundaries is an important part of any relationship, but it is especially important in the bedroom, where you are the most vulnerable and open to your partner. How do you go about figuring out what kinks are best for you…and which ones you want to leave at the bedroom door?
Give it some thought. Would you be surprised to know that many people rush into a sexual encounter without giving a thought to what it might entail? Something that seems so hot during a fantasy might not be so sexy in the real world. For example, let’s say you dig the thought of anal sex…but when the moment comes, you haven’t planned ahead, and you have no lube on hand to make things easier.
Take the time when you’re not aroused to think about what you really want out of a fantasy or sexual encounter, and why the two might be completely different from one another. Take that knowledge with you to the bedroom, and you will be better prepared to enjoy the little surprises along the way.
Explore the options. Don’t hesitate to explore. Think you might like to have a threesome, but you’re not sure? Act it out in roleplaying, use toys to simulate it, and discuss the fantasy in detail with your lover. You might decide you want to keep it as a fantasy…those other options might work for you. But if you choose to take it further…
Communicate! It is a hard and fast rule: Talking with your partner is key to a great sex life. If you have a fantasy you are dying to have fulfilled, let them know! Talk about the options. On the other hand, if a particular idea or kink makes you uncomfortable, speak up. Don’t just go along with it to make someone else happy.
Always stay safe. Whatever you choose to explore in the realm of dirty, kinky sex, always have a safe word or some other method of communicating your comfort level to your partner. The safer you stay, the more interesting your encounters will be.
Evaluate. After you’ve explored a kink or fantasy, take a step back and evaluate how it made you feel. Are you still excited? Are you nervous? Do you regret what you did? What could you do to make it better? Be honest with yourself first, and then talk to your partner about your feelings. The more you communicate about the reality of your fantasies, the more comfortable you will be.