I have a confession to make. I didn’t actually successfully masturbate until I was well into my mid-twenties. I simply could not get over the fact that I knew it was my own hand doing the deed. I was envious of my girlfriends who said they had no trouble flipping the switch on their own. But, no matter what I tried, I simply could not get over it. What frustrated me even more was the fact that I had an otherwise fabulous sex life and a scientific understanding of how all my parts should work.
I also had the misfortune of being gifted with a rather dull and uninspired vibrator as my first foray into the land of toys, so I didn’t think toys worked for me, either. Little did I know I simply hadn’t found the right one yet!
It wasn’t until I started dating the man who would later become my husband (for various reasons, this included!) that I finally was able to discover the joys of self-love, and find the method that worked best for me.
My first step on the road to becoming a pro at polishing the pearl was simply familiarizing myself with what felt good. My lover would suggest that we try touching ourselves together, which was actually a huge turn-on. I got over any remaining discomfort at the idea of handling my gear, and these sessions generally resulted in a rather intense toss between the sheets.
Unfortunately, I still wasn’t able to achieve the elusive Big O by myself. Fortunately, my sex-crazed lover had an idea! We went to a sex shop (reputable, clean and made to make women comfortable) and invested in a variety pack of toys. Most sex shops and online adult-toy stores should carry these, so if you’re anything like I was and have no idea what toys will work best for you, this is a wonderful way to try before you throw the big bucks at the real quality, high-end toys.
After a little experimentation, I found out what worked for me. And it was glorious! Finally being able to achieve orgasm by myself was such a relief. Not only that, but it brought our sex life as a couple to a whole new level as we incorporated more toy play into our lovemaking.
I hope this confession empowers some of you to get out and give masturbation another shot. We are fortunate to live in an age where there are stores and web sites, such as this one, devoted to exploring women’s sexuality. Whether you do it by yourself or with your lover, there’s no reason why you should spend another day unable to scratch that itch on your own!