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Blushing Bottoms: A Dirty Talk Spanking Primer

Okay, gather round…today we’re going to talk about something sure to give you blushing cheeks. The only question is…are we talking about the blushing cheeks on your face or the blushing cheeks a little farther south?

It’s time to talk about spanking!

Dirty talk and spanking go hand-in-hand. The thought of someone whispering “You want it, don’t you?” while the smack of a hand against flesh rings out is something that turns many people on. Is it something you want to explore? Here are a few tips to open the door to the realm of spanking…and give you a whole new reason to blush.

Start out slow and easy. When you first decide to try spanking, start out easy. You don’t know what it’s going to feel like…and what you think might be exciting during those times you fantasize about it could turn out to be less than what you had hoped. Ask your partner to spank you gently at first, and if you are the one who is doing the spanking, be courteous enough to wait and see how your partner reacts to one or two gentle whacks. You can always increase the speed and the pressure if you decide it really IS what you like.

Talk to your partner! Dirty talk is a huge part of spanking. It not only serves the purpose of turning up the heat, but it’s also a way of “checking in” with the person you are spanking. Listen closely to the verbal and non-verbal cues of your partner, and if you enjoy what is happening, don’t hesitate to turn up the raunch factor with your dirty talk – the hotter the better!

Toys can be intimidating. It’s best not to start out with a paddle when you first begin spanking play. It’s hard to know how much pressure you are using when you apply a paddle or a whip, and that’s something you don’t want to worry about the first few times. Use your hand instead – that way, you know you have total control.

Spanking doesn’t mean you’re submissive. Just because you enjoy spanking does not mean you are a submissive person. You might enjoy the sensation, or you might like the naughty taboo factor. You might simply like the thought of sharing something that you have never tried before. Spanking and submissiveness don’t necessarily go hand-in-hand…but spanking and trust do!

A safe word is a good idea. Anytime you are trying something new, a safe word should be in place. Make sure it is a word that won’t normally make its way into your dirty talk. For instance, use a color, the name of a fruit, or something similar. You probably won’t be yelling out “purple” or “eggplant” in the midst of lovemaking – that’s why it’s a safe word. When your partner does hear it, all action stops. That keeps everyone safe and ups the trust factor by an immeasurable amount – which means you will have even more fun with your blushing new venture!

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

One comment

  1. I’m ready to spank, and I hav lots of great phrases to use…the only thing missing is someone to spank with, lol.

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