Do you want to talk dirty to your partner, but you’re not sure what to say? You’re not alone. The inhibition against dirty talk begins in childhood, when we’re told not to say certain words because they are “bad” or “naughty.” But by the time we become adults, dirty talk is something sexy, a taboo made all the more appealing by the fact that it’s forbidden.
If you aren’t sure how your partner will react to dirty talk, diving in can make you a bit nervous. But there are ways to gauge his acceptance of naughty words between the sheets!
How does your partner react when he hears someone curse? Does he do a bit of it himself? It’s not unusual for someone to curse when they have done something silly, or especially something painful. How many times have you hollered something very unladylike when you stubbed your toe? Watching how your partner reacts to moments like that is an indication of how he will accept dirty talk in the bedroom. If he gets upset with you for cursing over a stubbed toe, he might be shocked – and not pleasantly so – if you say explicit things when you’re alone in bed.
If your partner is the kind of man who likes to make slow, gentle love to you, he might not be the most open to hearing dirty words in bed. The naughtiest of words don’t go well with emotional lovemaking. If things are steamy but not quite hot and heavy, perhaps it isn’t the best time to delve into naughty talk.
Get a little dirty before you get downright filthy. The next time you’re in bed with your partner, say things that aren’t dirty, but aren’t exactly angelic, either. A simple “you like that, don’t you?” will give him a chance to respond with words of his own. Saying “you want that, big boy?” will open the door for him to call you a little name, too.
As his ardor increases and his inhibitions drop away, you can start reaching a little further into your dirty talk bag of tricks. If he responds favorably to what you have to say, keep going!
Encourage him to talk to you, too. You might find that he’s been waiting on you to make the first move. Many men will hold back until they know exactly what turns you on, and then they will open up a bit more. It’s all about having respect for you, so if he’s been hesitant to say anything naughty while you’re between the sheets, don’t take it as a sign he doesn’t want to say those things. Maybe he does, but only you can open that door and let him know it is okay.
If he reacts well to your dirty talk and encourages it, you will be ready to let the naughty words rip. Get creative with your comments, and put your fantasies into words. His reaction to them will tell you if you’re on the right track.
But if he’s a little shy or doesn’t seem to like what you say, back off a bit. It might take a bit of time to coax your lover out of those firmly entrenched ideas about those bad, bad dirty words. With a little understanding and patience, you can convince him those dirty words are good things. Soon he will be whispering not-so-sweet nothings in your ear!