Okay, let’s face it — many men are intimidated by sex toys. They don’t like the idea that you are playing with something that could be a substitute for their own body…and they really don’t like the fact that it gets you off, sometimes in a fireworks-in-the-sky kind of way.
But then there are men who are curious about sex toys, both those that you use and those that are designed especially for them. A man like that just might be open to the thought that a bit of backdoor lovin’ — for both of you.
But how do you bring something like that up for discussion?
Start by not saying anything at all. The next time you’re in bed together, go down on him, and let your fingers do the talking. Apply a bit of pressure to the area of skin right underneath his scrotum. This will put direct pressure on his prostate gland, and that usually feels very good. If you feel like pressing your finger against his ass, do that, too — but always let his reactions guide you. If he tenses up and pulls away, it’s time to stop. If he seems to get into it, you can keep that little fact filed away for the next time you play.
Does he want to give it a shot? You can find out during your next play session, when you try to gently insert one finger into him. Does he like it? If he does, then it’s time to open up the sex toy discussion and see what he thinks.
He might be eager but very nervous. Remember your first time having sex, or playing with a vibrator, or trying anal? You were nervous, too. Keep in mind that he might need some coaxing and reassurance.
Let him purchase the sex toy he wants to use…by doing this, you will ensure that he stays within his comfort zone. Suggest that he try a very slim dildo, vibrator, or a set of anal beads. Insist that he purchase a high-quality lube to go along with it. Once he has chosen his toy, talk about how you will use it together, and again, follow his lead. He will tell you how much he’s ready for, and how far he wants to go.
For many men, the thought of receiving anal sex is still a very taboo subject, one they will not take kindly to right off the bat. If your man is this type, occasionally mention how much you would like to see him do such a thing for you, and talk to him about it if he seems to open up. But recognize that just as some women will never try anal sex, some men won’t, either.
But the naughtiest fantasies are always worth a bit of discussion, so let him know what you want…and if he takes it from there, be ready to make it the best experience he’s ever had.