When your partner tells you to talk dirty to them, are you tongue-tied? Do you have a plan in the back of your mind that disappears like smoke at the first moment of your intimate encounter? If you’re one of those who doesn’t quite know what to say – or is too shy to say it – these tips might help.
Ease into Naughty. If talking dirty to someone face-to-face is what intimidates you, start out with something a bit easier. Talking dirty via email or IM gives you the chance to think about what you’re going to say next, and removes some of the pressure to perform. When you’re comfortable with that, step it up a notch by talking dirty on the phone. You can’t see your partner’s expressions, and that might make it easier for you to say things that make you blush. When you’re ready to move into it into the bedroom, you will have some experience under your belt, and you will have a good idea of what your partner likes to hear.
Ask for Guidance. It’s never a mistake to ask your partner what they like in bed – so why don’t you ask them what they want to hear? Ask them to be specific about certain words, phrases, or ideas that turn them on. They can probably tell you something that will get you started on the dirty talk road. Be honest about the fact that you don’t know what to say or you’re shy about uttering the words. A good lover will be patient with you and help you overcome the shyness.
Read. Read Again. Read Some More. Don’t know where to begin? Pick up an erotic novel or a dirty magazine. When it comes to magazines, one with a good mix of photographs and stories will work well for the hottest dirty talk stories. Read them aloud if you need to get over your shyness about saying certain naughty words, or if you are inclined to share, read them to your partner.
Share with an Expert. If you really want to know what dirty talk is all about, spring for a discussion with a phone sex operator. You can either have phone sex for the cash (and why not?) or you can ask for tips and tricks…you’ll be sure to find a kindred spirit on the other end of the line!
Relax. Okay, let’s be honest…we already know that if a man is uptight, worried, or concerned that he’s not going to “perform” well, then he probably won’t. The libido is a curious thing that way. The same holds true for dirty talk! So relax…and let things happen naturally. The more you stress about being the perfect dirty talker, the less likely you will be to come up with something to light the fire.
Follow the first four tips…then relax. Let the dirty talk come naturally. It might take a few sessions, and sometimes you might feel as though you will never get it right, but keep trying! After all, isn’t that how you became such a good lover in the first place? Practice makes perfect, my friend!