In today’s day and age of online dating, the blind date is one part of life that seems more common than ever before. Blind dates are also becoming increasingly common even without online dating however, and this is because many singles are steering away from the bar or club scene and are looking for more suitable ways to find people to spend time with. And then of course there are the well meaning friends and family who “just want to see you happy” and have that third cousin, neighbor, or co-worker that you just “have to meet” because you’d be “perfect for each other”.
In this day and age, you can’t be too selective, or you will market yourself right off the market, but you don’t want to date just anybody either. And well, who knows how well Christmas will go this year if you snub Aunt Pina’s blind date request. To cover all your bases, the next time you get pitched with a set-up, ask your well intentioned friend or family member the next four questions before you agree to the blind date. And NEVER go by how cute they tell you your prospect is. Use their answers from THESE questions to gauge your decision, and it will save you a world of trouble.
1. How long have you known him? This is a basic question because if they just met them yesterday, you may want to question their judgment. If this is someone they’ve been sharing a cubicle with for 10 years, you may want to trust their judgment. Remember, your friends and family really DO want the best for you even if it looks like you will end up getting “trapped” into an awkward situation.
2. Why do you think we’d make a good match? A lot of people assume that just because THEY think someone is great that you will too. Look for answers that align with qualities that you find compatible with yourself. See if this prospect really does share some of your ideals and values or even a little bit of common ground. If you both love Paul McCartney, but that’s the only thing they can come up with for you, you may want to question this decision here.
3. What is their recent relationship history like? If you are met with blank stares to this one, your well intended whoever does not know this person well. And maybe they’re just trying to find company for a friend going through a divorce or new to the area, or anything along those lines. If they do know the person well enough to give you a long archived record of dating dramas, remember, they know this person well enough to suggest them to you, and that’s not always a bad thing. Use your instinct to guide you through this question, as you would if you were meeting the prospect on your own.
4. How did you describe me to them? This is important as it will reveal what your intended friend or family member really thinks about you. It will also reveal how well they do or don’t know you, and if they truly understand what you are looking for. If Aunt Pina says, “well, I just told him how pretty you were and how much you like cats, darling” then well, you want to wonder how compatible this person really is. On the other hand, if they spew off all of your educational credits, your professional accomplishments, and what a wonderful loyal friend you are, then you know your best interests are being taken seriously and you may not want to pass this one up.
At the end of the day, if you are single and looking, the general rule of thumb is to not overlook any opportunity. The same goes for blind dates, you just need to use a little bit of your best judgment, along with your trusted instincts, and you are that much farther ahead of the game.