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3 Ways to Successfully Turn an Online Relationship Into a REAL Relationship

Today online dating is so common that there are more single people that are doing it, than aren’t it seems. Online dating has gone through many faces over the years, but it has turned into a rather streamlined process for any single guy or girl that doesn’t have the time or the resources (from a social circle standpoint anyway) to meet new people. Anyone that has tried it can probably list you a good number of pros and cons to this new way of dating, and there are certainly a healthy number of success stories out there at this point. But is there a secret to making a computer generated match work? What about the chemistry? What about the in person connection? When you want to take your online dating to a level in the real world, how do you overcome the science of the technological match, to experience the science of chemistry in real life? Follow these simple steps on easing your relationship transition from online, to offline.

1. Be as “REAL” online as you are offline. This can be very hard to accomplish when you are only working with IM, emails, and limited phone conversation. Nix the standard chatspeak, and talk on IM like you would in person. You don’t say “ttyl” or “tyvm” in real life do you? No, so don’t date that way online either. You don’t want to give only one word answers, talk to the person as if they were sitting right in front of you…and DO NOT EDIT yourself! Most chat programs you can tell when someone is editing yourself, and it makes you look like you are just putting on an appearance. Keep in mind that online chat or email lets you be a little less inhibited, so don’t reveal too much too soon at the same time. In online dating, you have the initial advantage of not having any distractions, with the conversation being the true focus. This is a wonderful chance to show who you really are without worrying about what you look like. By being real ahead of time, you leave no room for disappointment down the road. You’ve already shown your true self, and they like you!

2. Keep your first in person meeting short. Here you follow the standard rules that you would if it was a blind date. Coffee, not lunch or dinner, or drinks if you are going out after work hours. For a first time, you don’t want to set anything later than 6 or 7 PM. Again, one drink, one coffee, and you set plans for a second date, and you call it a day all together. This is just a quick meeting to see if there IS real life chemistry, this is not a day where you decide to plan your futures together. Just a quick meeting, save the heavy stuff for another date. This protects BOTH of you, but mostly you for the time being.

3. When your first date involves travel. This too is becoming more and more popular as online dating is increasing the rate of the long distance relationship FAST. If you are having to travel to meet your online love for the first time, and this involves an overnight, get your own hotel room. No matter what they say about letting you stay over, or all of these wonderful romantic plans you have, decide after you get there, so that you don’t have to worry about it before you do get there. Book the room, have your first “date” shortly after you arrive, then retire to your hotel room. How long your stay is depends on you, and how long you stay in that hotel room depends on you, but you really should stay there your first night. If you have coffee or lunch with them right after your flight lands or your train arrives, and then find out some serious ick factor material…you are going to want that hotel room. And if there is no ick factor..well hey, use the hotel room as an insurance policy, even if it’s just for a second great date. That’s what insurance policies are there for…in case of emergency.

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

2 comments

  1. Hi, Good work!These are great tips. very informative article.Well done! Thanks for sharing ,this is a very detailed article about this subject matter.its really helpful to us.thanks for writing.

  2. 1.Fish out the frogs. As a basic rule, exercise caution if the person’s profile features scantily clad photos, multiple pictures at bars and, as mentioned earlier, pictures with probable ex-girlfriends (especially if their faces are blacked out).
    If you’re not really into the bar scene, avoid someone whose profile indicates they drink “regularly” or mentions alcohol frequently within their profile.
    2.Keep introductory emails short, concise and interested in getting to know the person. Do not compliment the person on their looks. It’s clear if you’re contacting someone you find them potentially attractive based on their pictures. Start an email with a friendly hello and mention something that stood out about their profile, perhaps the location of one of their pictures or a comment about their interests. If you don’t hear back from the person, do not pursue them. It means they’re simply not interested. Keep moving.
    3.Avoid TMI (Too Much Information). Avoid discussing past relationships, legal or financial problems or other “heavy” subjects in emails and even real-life dates for at least the first few weeks. Focus on the basics: family and education background, career, dreams, values and interests. Expand slowly from there.
    4.Meet as soon as possible. Meet within the first two weeks of correspondence. Compatibility on paper often doesn’t translate into real-life chemistry. The most promising virtual exchanges can fall flat in person.
    5.Meet somewhere casual for the first “date.” Keep it low-key. Optimally, make plans during the daytime at a coffee shop. Avoid initial plans for lunch or dinner. When online potential doesn’t translate into real-life chemistry, exiting Starbucks is a lot faster and easier than a nice restaurant. If, however, the date goes well, consider impromptu plans to eat and talk more.
    6.Chivalry is far from dead. Men should pay, or at least offer to pay, for their date’s food and drinks.
    7.Take it slow. Remember to solidify a connection based on values and shared interests long before making a physical one.
    8.Never ask the person to take down their online profile. Trust the person to make his or her own decision when the time is right for them. Relationships should be self-evident.

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