Here is another all too common lot in life for women. Do we drop the L bomb, or don’t we? Some people say wait for him to say it, whereas other people will tell you to say it when you mean it. There is no wrong answer to this question, the best advice on this one is to simply follow your heart. One of the biggest issues that plagues us when we obsess over this issue is, what if I say it and he doesn’t say it back? Well, let’s approach this from a one step at a time angle. We can not tell you whether he will or will not say it back, and I certainly don’t condone any “game playing” that will get him to say it back to you, but how can we prepare ourselves for the best possible outcome? At the end of the day, the best possible outcome is not what he does or doesn’t say in return, it is about how you feel about the turn of events. Because you complete you, so we are going to talk a little bit about 3 different ways you can approach this situation for the best possible result for YOU, not for your relationship. Men don’t change their lives for a woman because of one conversation or because of 3 words, they change their lives when women make them feel they want to. How can you help this process along?
1. Put yourself in his shoes before you approach the talk. Think about how this is going to AFFECT him. Don’t think of fear, panic, frustration, or things of that nature. Think of you, and your relationship, and his place in it. NOT his place in your life, but his place in HIS life. When you put the other person’s perspective ahead of your own, it gives you clarity on where things are really and truly going. And they can feel that too, which works in your favour. Are they really and truly ready to hear this? A little hard core honesty required here, yes, but if you can’t handle the truth, you are NOT ready for this step.
2. Go in with no expectations, no demands. Tell him you simply need to follow your heart with this talk. Tell him you are doing this for YOU, not for him, and that you have no expectations on this situation, and you want to LEAD with this insight. He needs to know that you are not asking anything of him, you are just wanting him to know how you feel, that nothing will change, and….that you love him no matter what. Men fear this conversation not because of the feelings, but because of the demands that are attached to them. He won’t have an opportunity to be afraid if you approach it this way, and he will respect you that much more in the end. It also makes you an easier woman to relate to. And men ADORE women that are easy to be with. They fall in love with them in fact.
3. Don’t give him the three words if you are only doing so to hear them back. In fact, you need to go into this not caring if you hear them back or not. True love comes with no conditions, so telling him this, and then getting angry when it doesn’t come back is not true love. If you truly love him, tell him when you feel it when your heart speaks to you to say it. But don’t do it to validate your own place within the relationship. He’s with you now, right? Enough for you to want to say those words? Accept that, if he didn’t feel something for you he wouldn’t be there, trust me. But don’t tell him you love him just to keep him from running or to confirm to you you are the one. But when you have one of those moments when you just need to say it, say it. And if he looks a little startled, just smile and say, “you don’t need to say anything now. I just wanted you to know how much you meant to me.” See? You just became an easy woman to be with again, the kind of women that men love.