Oh, here is another place that we have all been to at one point or another, the ex boyfriend or ex husband bump in. Could be the grocery store, could be the post office, could be at “your” restaurant, it could be anywhere. And this is the key here, you really CAN bump into him anywhere, you may even bump into him online. We go through so many emotions during and after a breakup, it can take some time for those to fully process and simmer down.
Many couples find themselves rebounding with each other even after a breakup, and more often than not, there is always one person that hopes this is the case, even for a little while. So whatever your end goal is when you are coming out a relationship, getting back together or moving on with your life, you still need to handle the inevitable Ex Bump In with a little bit of finesse. Remember that your last conversation or experience as a couple was probably not very good, you did after all break up, right? This is how you can use the Ex Bump In to your advantage, and replace the bad memories with some good. How you handle this situation will ultimately determine how successful you are getting your end goal. Here are a few tips to work it out, depending on your situation.
1. If you were the one that got dumped. This is tricky because you have probably, or still are, going through the emotions of wanting to get back together, or hoping that you can make him feel differently about you. If you get dumped, it’s a blow to the ego and you can’t help but wonder what it is you’ve done wrong. You haven’t, it really IS him, it really ISN’T you, and the longer you spend obsessing about what a bad girlfriend you must be, the more likely he is to use terms like “psycho” and “needy”. And you don’t stand a chance if getting back is what you want. Here is where you put on the brave face and act like a grownup. Here is where you never let him see you sweat. When the Bump In occurs, he’ll ask how you’ve been doing. You will smile and say “Fabulous! You?” and then hurry off on your busy life. You’ve given him the time of day, he didn’t want it, and now you must go back to your fabulosity. You’ve just replaced a memory, and maybe just maybe he will realize just how fabulous you really are and what a schmuck he was.
2. When you’ve done the dumping. Women often have better reasons than men when it comes to dumping, and when it is the women that do the dumping, statistically getting back together is very rare. This is because once we’ve made up our minds, we’re good to go with it, and chances are they spent a LOT of time making MANY mistakes to get you to come to this point. When the Bump In happens then, what you want to do is be polite, and nice, and don’t bruise his ego any more than you have. Again, you will spend very little time with him here, but this time it is because it is awkward for BOTH of you. Be nice, but not too much, or he may get a glimmer that you still care. You don’t want to lead him on, but you don’t want remind him that he wants to hate you either.
3. When the Bump In is intentional. This is for the girl who is on the track to get him back and fast. Well, news flash here is that he will probably be on to you. You aren’t going to just “accidentally” run into him at the same bar that you know he’s at every night. And after you’ve had a drink or two with your girls and talked them to death about it, not only are you missing him MORE but your bravado is up a bit. Do not ever plan an intentional bump in, it almost ALWAYS backfires, and then they end up with conversations that are just soaked with the words needy and psycho. Don’t be that girl. Move on.