Single again? Yes, it can be difficult. And with the rise in divorce, there seems to be an ever growing population of newly singles in this country. In fact, research shows that the 40-55 age bracket is very close to being the largest singles demographic in America. Why is this? A number of reasons, cancer and terminal illness is on the rise, and people are dying younger than ever before. Add this to the growing divorce rate, and you have a middle aged population that is left wondering what to do next when it comes to love. If you have suffered loss or divorce, but want companionship in your life again, it can be very difficult to get back in the game. For many, their last real “date” may have been 20 years ago. But if nothing else, you can take heart with the fact that you are not alone, there are many MANY singles out there just like you. So how do you get back in the game? Put a smile on your face, take some baby steps, and follow these tips to get you started.
1. Enjoy your single life. When you are single, and enjoying it, you exude a certain confidence and contentment with your life that many other people can not. You’re career is stable, if you have kids they are getting more and more independent, and you have a lot more freedom than you did in your married or relationship days. Being single does not equate to being lonely, being single also means your freedom is limitless. Enjoy it! Do the things you couldn’t do when you were answering to someone else, and celebrate your new found freedom. When you embrace your single life, you tell the world, and your prospective mates, that you don’t need any one person to complete you or make you happy. This kind of confidence is very attractive and highly respected for those that are in the same boat as you.
2. Go with the flow. In the last 25 years dating has changed significantly. With matchmaking services, online dating, and the bar scene a heavy zone for singles meets, dating is not dinner and a movie in the Chevy any more. Go with this flow, but take some baby steps. Get your feet wet by experiencing some of these venues and exploring the dating scene that is today. Nobody says you have to settle down with the first person you date, you’re just getting to know people. Use online dating to test the waters and see what’s out there, and frequent local bars or clubs that cater to your demographic. Talk to people, get to know them, and just go with the flow. The more relaxed you are when you approach dating, the greater your success will be. No expectations equals no disappointments, so go in ready to have some fun, and see what transpires. You may be surprised.
3. Keep your guard up, but not too much. We’re living in a society where it’s easy to take advantage of the right person if you want to, and easy to be taken advantage of if you’re that right person. So keep your guard up a little and you will be able to avoid those that may be looking to take advantage of a new relationship for purely physical or financial purposes. When you haven’t been dating for several years, and are looking for a new companion in life, it can be very easy to trust the wrong person. Keep your guard up and ensure you don’t give too much personal or secure information out too soon, and you don’t allow personal access into your private life or affairs until this person has proven themselves to be trustworthy. This is a time where you need to protect yourself from getting hurt, but still open yourself to the possibility of love. Yes, it can be a difficult balancing act, but if you go out into the world TOO guarded, your walls will be very difficult to break down. And even the most passionate and romantic love can’t break through sturdy concrete emotional walls. Protect yourself, but allow the true hearts into your life when you feel the time is right.