Every woman that has ever had a male friend has fallen into this sort of “dilemma”. Your wonderful and attractive male friend has started to look a little differently to you. Is he cuter today or is it just you? Is he being exceptionally sweet or is it just you? Did that comment actually sound like flirting, or is it just you? It is so easy to feel attracted to someone of the opposite sex, and when it is one of your friends, even easier. Why? Because the level of trust is already there, as is some kind of a history between the two of you where the relationship feels easy. That’s why you are friends, right? So when things are getting a little stale in your love life, it is only natural to start noticing your male friends, or one in particular, a little bit differently. If you find yourself falling for a friend, before you do anything, read these three little tips that you will want to arm yourself with before you broach any awkward conversation on the matter.
In many cases, you may be picking up cues from your friend that indicates he may want to pursue things as well. It’s not uncommon for friends to flirt with each other, and there are many reasons for this. They may really want to pursue something with you and are also just “testing the waters” so to speak. Or, they may simply be flirting out of boredom or lack of anything more interesting (to them) available. If you are trying to figure things out, stop overanalyzing and look at things as objectively as possible.
If you want to know if your male friend is boyfriend material, arm yourself with this information first.
1. For starters, good signs of boyfriend material include history and trust issues. With your friend/potential boyfriend, you do have a long history and there is no history of lying or trust issues. Your communication is good, and you two really CAN talk about anything. If you don’t have these two elements, give the friendship some time to build on these things before you take it to the next level. This may work!
2. You need to have a recovery plan. It is possible he doesn’t feel the same, and this does not mean he doesn’t think you are fantastic. Quite the contrary actually, if he didn’t think you were fantastic, you wouldn’t be his friend. But, sorry honey, he may just not be that into you *that way*. Go into this awkward conversation prepared for this outcome, and be easy, breezy, and beautiful about whatever the outcome may be. Don’t make your expectations too high, or you will fall hard as this is someone you already deeply care about. This way you retain the friendship and come out looking even more fantastic to him than you did before.
3. Just say no to Friends with Benefits. If this is your friend, he will truly respect you as a woman and will not ask this of you. And if he does still ask, the good male friend will also be okay with it if you say no. That is not to say you can’t enjoy friends with benefits period, but for those encounters, choose someone that is already at arms length, and the friends label is one used loosely. The friends with benefits man is really just a man you have sex with, and the term friend is used to make the situation seem, well, nicer. If this male friend is one that you value, do not succumb to the friends with benefits ploy. This man will not commit to you, and you WILL get hurt.
Did you ever have a relationship with one of your man friends? Or is this something you tried and well, it didn’t really work out? Share your experiences, you never know who might be in the same boat as you!