It doesn’t seem to matter today with either man or feminist alike what the new rules are when it comes to calling men. The fact of the matter is that history tells us the rules are, women don’t call men…for a date that is. It just isn’t done. Society today tells us “I am woman, hear me roar, and oh by the way I can call anyone I darn well please”, but yet, time after time women get the raw deal when they assert themselves and pick up the phone. Why is this? The reason is that while history has changed, the evolution of the male species has not, so the reason not calling men worked in the past, is the same reason it will work today.
Men like to be the hunters, the pursuers, the chasers, and studies consistently show that when a relationship begins with the woman allowing a man to pursue her, the relationship has a better chance to survive. Sounds a little prehistoric, right? Well it is, but unfortunately, though men appear more refined today, their biology still tells them they will only feel validated in a relationship if they are doing all the chasing. Even men will admit they hate this rule, but they still prove that it actually works time and time again. So here you are the 21st century woman that wants to take matters into her own hands. How do you DO that and still let him have his “power”? The trick is to only make him FEEL like he has the power. And you do that by simply dating like a man. When you follow his own rules, he immediately perceives you as more independent, more confident, i.e. less needy, and he will be very very interested. So the next time you get that number, here is exactly what you are going to do with it.
1. You wait to use the number. You know this works because he does it to you all the time. Presumably you get this number on a night out or on an actual date. Give him the 3 days from getting the number before you pick up the phone. Now you are speaking in a language he understands. It tells him you don’t depend on him for happiness, and that you have a full life.
2. Don’t make plans right away. If he asks you during the conversation for a second date, or date numero uno, you don’t plan it for that day. Again, you have a full life (or you need to give him the illusion that you do) and plan it for a few days down the road. A good number is 5 days ahead, but if he is asking on a Wednesday for plans that weekend, that’s okay. If he is asking on a Friday for plans that night, no. The confident busy girl will already have plans that night, and it will be too short notice for you to make room for him today. If it was you doing the asking for the date, this is precisely how it would pan out. Again, speak in his language.
3. You let him call next. Period. What happens after this date will be critical, and here you simply must let him play the ball that has been thrown in this court. Again, you’ve taken a little control with this situation, and you need to prove to him that you still want to be chased. If he is into you, he WILL call you. If you don’t hear from him, you don’t deserve him, plain and simple. Calling him now will kind of throw in the towel on any power or control you had here, and make you look needy. You gain power by giving it to him, if he doesn’t take the ball here, you still have your power and your confidence, and you are now ready to meet someone that is strong enough to deal with it!