Yikes, the Breakup. So many of us always say after the fact, “But I didn’t see it coming!”. As women, we say that because if we had seen it coming, we could have maybe stopped it all together. The truth is, you probably did see the signs, you just didn’t want to admit be honest with yourself because the truth hurts. And who wants to face that if they absolutely don’t have to? The fact is, the truth will be a little easier if you prepare yourself for the inevitable. Or at least, learn to identify some warning signs so that you can either put it off, or end a potential breakup all together. If guys were perfect, they would do and say what we want them to all the time, but guys don’t like facing their emotions as easily as we do. And whether you believe it or not, guys really hate the confrontation of breakups and will avoid them as well. Here are a few of the less than obvious signs that you can use to see if the love is fading and well, he’s just not that into you anymore. Don’t stress too much just yet, you may be able to use these to save a breakup from actually happening.
1. He stops taking “your side”. A man that loves a woman will stand by her and support her no matter what. If you were just complaining to him about a fight with your mom and he wasn’t really getting heated with you, or even worse, actually defended their point of view, chances are he’s starting to turn. If he’s fully in it with you, he will see things from your point of view and support you no matter how you handle these things. Something has happened here that has made him feel a little slighted and so he’s not so likely to return that supportive feeling. Go the extra mile a little more often now just for him, it may be all you need to turn it around.
2. He doesn’t acknowledge you in public. Well, this point actually sounds just plain rude, but this is actually a sneaky one that you may not notice right away. For example, he may run into an old friend while you two are out together, and this is where the subtle slight will come. Watch how he introduces you, or if he does at all. If he doesn’t at all, again, that’s juts plain rude, and is a definite signal this is on the way out. If he introduces you, but doesn’t use a defined relationship term that you two have acknowledged, then the wince you feel isn’t imaginary. He’s subconsciously not acknowledging the relationship at all because in his mind, it’s over. Example: “Peter, this is my girlfriend Samantha.” Vs. “Oh, this is Samantha by the way. So will you be in town for the game tonight?” To resolve what this means, you are going to just have to be honest here. But be light about it and ask with no pressure, remember, he wants to be with a woman that makes life easier for him, not harder. Just ask lightly “so, when did you stop introducing me as your girlfriend?”, but ask him with a smile and maybe nudge him playfully to send the message that things are light and breezy with you two. It could be an oversight on his part, but if it happens too often, don’t overanalyze it, end it yourself because you’ve already made it clear that that doesn’t make you happy. He’s not respecting your relationship the way you deserve, and tell him that.
3. His friends start acting weird around you. Maybe you have the kind of relationship where you hang with each others friends and your circles of friends begin to mesh into one big happy loving family. If you run into his friends when you aren’t with him and they are a little distant and standoffish, chances are he’s been talking to them about a possible split and they don’t know how to act around you. This one is actually not a good sign at all, and there may be no turning back. He rarely talks deep stuff with his friends, so if they are acting distant, he’s done so because he’s at the end of his rope. And believe it or not, if he thinks you are breaking up with him, this is one of the FIRST signs he will look for because he KNOWS how much you tell them. If this is happening to you, your only saving grace may be to be the one that does the dumping. If he gets dumped and loses you, then he may later realize what a great thing he had and come crawling back….if you’ll have him.