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When Your Dirty Talk Styles Don’t Mesh – What to Do?

Getting into dirty talk with your lover will usually go well, but from time to time you could stumble across a few obstacles. One of the big ones is your dirty talk style.

If you’re the raunchy kind who loves the filthiest talk imaginable, but your lover is more of the romantic type who views sex as more of a spiritual experience than a physical one, your dirty talk styles might not mesh well at first. Learning to work around this and find a good compromise is the key to having dirty talk fun with someone who sees the naughty phrases in a different light than you do.

If your lover says something that offends you or makes you nervous, it’s important that you let them know. You don’t have to do it right there and then — in fact, it might be best if you don’t. Just go with the flow as best you can, and have the discussion about dirty talk during the afterglow if the mood is right. If not, have the talk at some point later, perhaps the next morning.

Simply tell your partner that what they said was a little out of your comfort zone, and explain why, if you know the reasons. If you don’t, that’s okay — sometimes, we just like what we like, and that’s all there is to it. Ask them how they feel about your dirty talk. Have you gone too far? Not gone far enough? Is there something they really love to hear, something that turns them on beyond belief?

Learn about each other’s styles! If your partner is into the more hardcore dirty talk, check out a few erotic novels to get an idea of what they are looking for. Things like The Story of O or The Delta of Venus are good places to begin. If your partner has learned dirty talk from watching the worst porn movies you can imagine, enlighten them a bit with examples of erotic correspondence, such as Napoleon’s letters to Josephine.

It will take time and practice to make your very different dirty talk styles click — but when they finally do, you will be certain the time and effort were worth that incredible bedroom experience!

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

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