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What Not to Do When You Suspect Your Partner is Cheating

What Not to Do When You Suspect Your Partner is CheatingCheating is a major cause of most breakups and divorces. There are women and men who have been cheated on who spend the rest of their lives chasing away partners due to their mistrust. In cases of cheating it’s important to learn and move past it entering each new relationship wiser but not jaded and suspicious. If you know that you aren’t being paranoid or overly suspicious but sincerely suspect that your partner is cheating on you there are a few mistakes you will want to avoid.

  1. Don’t stalk your partner. Following him or having a friend follow her and report back is almost as much of a violation of trust as cheating.
  2. Don’t accuse your partner. If you suspect that your partner is cheating but don’t know for sure consider asking instead of announcing “I know you’re cheating on me!” Get the facts before you go crazy.
  3. Don’t threaten harm to yourself, your partner or the “other”. Keep in mind that you are an adult and adults realize that threatening harm to anyone could lead to a legal battle you don’t want to have to deal with.
  4. Don’t discuss the situation while drinking. No matter what the situation really is, this is a discussion that you and your partner should have while completely sober. The things you discuss could affect the rest of your life and you want to have a clear head for that.
  5. Don’t attempt to guilt trip someone into staying with you. If the discussion reveals that your partner is cheating your only options are for each of you to agree to work on your relationship or to let it go. You can’t make someone love you.

Cheating is a terrible thing to do, and a terrible thing to be a victim of, but in the search for the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with you often have to be hurt and go through learning experiences in order to be ready for “the one”.

You could become known as the crazy ex, who stalks and annoys, threatens and basically comes across as a neurotic freak, or you could become the one ex that is able to maintain a respectful distant friendship, it all depends on how you handle the situation that leads to the breakup. Cheating is a very hard situation to get through for both parties. The cheater feels guilt, but also feels the need for someone different, the victim feels betrayed and worthless. It’s a vicious cycle in the process of finding the perfect mate.

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

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  • Liz

    I agree, I moved in with my partner may in that time he’s behaviour towards me was not right I found chat sites naked women numbers he’s phone is locked and silent the guy has hundreds of email addresses then to top it all he says its in my head I’m seeing things because I’m looking for it he nose nothing about anything but I can be standing right next to him I’ve seen exactly how he looks at other women but then it’s all in my head he’s told me I’m fucked up in the head all the arguments are over other women that’s it, I don’t trust him at all I no I’ve been lied too by him this is a new relationship it shouldn’t be like this. Now I just feel like I’m waiting for something to happen if it hasn’t already but I’d never find out anyway I don’t think he’d say, I’m the house maid. I love him with all my heart so dose my daughter this prob will screw me up eventually I no that because I can’t walk away, doesn’t matter how much I wish he would see I’m here an I look after him that will always be a part of us there’s no violence just mental I no that’s prob worse but I can handle it, I no the next women will be treated the same, I often ask my self how I ended up like this well the truth is I Trusted a guy that can’t be trusted faith loyalty respect you partner isn’t in he’s agenda,

  • michael

    I totally agree with this. Cheating is awful no matter how you look at it. I am a 33 year old man and I still have some lingering pains (its just a part of me now)from being cheated on when I was a teenager. I know this may seem silly to some but you have to understand, we had been together for 7 years. This girl and I knew each other since kindergarten, we were in all the same classes until college. We shared all of our friends and even worked together. So it was intense.
    Anyway. I vowed after that never to be a cheat. To all the other men out there I am telling you its not worth it. I dont care how good looking or whatever the reasoning is. Be a man, break up with your girl, then go get the other one.

    Since that teen experience, every relationship I had after I always promised that no matter what Id never cheat. If a situation came about where it was threatening to happen Id at least do the courtesy of breaking it off then and there with gf before moving to the new girl…