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What Not to Do When You Have a Boyfriend

daytime talk showsLadies, ladies, ladies, after watching several daytime talk shows I’ve been inspired to write up a short list of tips for you. The following are what you should not do when you have a boyfriend. This will save you from being invited to appear on national television to air your dirty laundry, get a DNA test or take a lie detector test. Really, these are common sense, but seeing how many women end up there I thought you might appreciate some guidelines.

  • Do not have sex with his brother, his cousin, his best friend or a random stranger. If you have a boyfriend you only have sex with him.
  • If for some stupid reason you ignore #1 then please follow this bit of advice- Don’t have unprotected sex with anyone. If there’s a chance that you’ll end up pregnant and issuing DNA tests to 3 or 4 men, you need to think ahead and prevent that from happening.
  • Do not disrespect his Mom, baby momma, sister, friends etc. Because these people will get their revenge by dragging you on Jerry Springer and spilling every secret you’ve ever had to the world.
  • Do not spring the fact that you’re a transsexual on him after you’ve been intimate.
  • Do not tell him another man’s baby is actually his.
  • Do not invent fake pregnancies to keep him from leaving you.
  • Don’t have a controversial job such as being a stripper or prostitute that you keep secret from him.
  • Don’t have a lesbian relationship with the neighbor, unless he’s included. If he is included make sure he uses protection, you don’t want the lady in the next trailer to be your boyfriends baby momma.
  • Do not have a borderline incestuous sexual relationship with your Mom’s newest husband while your boyfriend and mother are at work.

Ladies, most men want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed, let’s not have the freak leaking all over the streets. Keep the bedroom stuff where it belongs, between you and your boyfriend. Have some class.

 

About Denise Brienne

Confident, fun, well-rounded and sexy. Those are words that describe author Denise Brienne, a thirty-something woman who has a knack for giving the best advice to those who want to spice up their intimate relationships.

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