Some people don’t talk dirty in bed simply because they have never been exposed to the thrill of it. When you find yourself with a dirty talk newbie, consider it an exciting adventure! The dirty talk newbie has no preconceived notions. He or she has not been “trained” to talk dirty to someone in a particular way, so there are no habits or rules that must be broken. Consider the dirty talk newbie to be a blank page on which nothing has been written, but the possibilities are endless.

Start out by talking about dirty talk in a non-threatening manner. This means you shouldn’t start the talk in bed! Wait until one of those moments when you are both joking around, and then bring up the fact that you would love to hear them talk dirty while they did that — or something along those lines. Trust yourself to know when the time is right. It’s one of those “say anything” moments that feels so good!

Once it’s brought up, you can begin to discuss it. Ask your partner how they would feel if you talked dirty to them. What would they like to hear? If they don’t know how to answer that, try a different approach — ask them what they do NOT want to hear. It’s often easier to pick out the few things that turn you off than make a whole list of the many things that turn you on, and dirty talk is much the same way.

Ease into the conversation. Though you might want dirty talk first thing tonight, hold your horses and pull back until your partner is ready. If you push, they will be more likely to push back, and that will get you nowhere. But if you stay open and bring it up from time to time, they will be more likely to explore.

After that initial discussion, you can start bringing up dirty talk in the bedroom. Ask simple questions that demand an answer: What do you want? Do you like this? Which way do you want it? What position do you want? Tell them to just answer — don’t think! The dirty talk that comes from simple questions can be hot, and that can make them understand that even deeper dirty talk is okay.

When they do open up to more, tell them what you think! Let them know that dirty talk is great, and that you want more of it. Tell them about your fantasies, your desires, and what words turn you on more than others. The more open you are about your own wants and needs, the more likely your partner will be ready to move into hotter dirty talk territory.

When it comes to making it in the bedroom, men can usually figure out what women want if they pay close attention. But there are some blunders that almost every man makes, at least at first — and those blunders can be quite off-putting to women, even if we think the world of you.

So, without further ado, the sex blunders men need to be aware of — and how they can avoid the mistakes.

Rushing things. The more time you spend seducing your woman, engaging her in foreplay, and taking pleasures in the whole of her body, instead of just the naughty bits, the more likely she is to respond easily to you when it does come down to intercourse. Pay attention to both the verbal and non-verbal cues, and if you aren’t sure, just ask! Women love to know that you care enough to try to please.

Practicing porn. You might be tempted to try out the latest moves you’ve seen in that great porn film — but don’t do it. She will know that jackhammer position is from the porn film, and she might feel like a slut — but in the wrong kind of way. Again, take direction from her, and when she’s ready to get into those porn positions, she will let you know. In the meantime, listen and learn!

Forget the sensual. Sexuality is wonderful, but it goes hand-in-hand with sensuality. So do sensual things before you even hit the bedroom — light the candles, turn on the music, take her hand, and dance your way into her sexy thoughts. Don’t go for the gold until she’s revved up!

Looking around. The last thing your woman needs to hear is that you’re interested in someone else, and she certainly doesn’t need to see you checking out a short skirt when you go out in public together. Of course, you’re going to look — but make a point of keeping it to yourself. Don’t damage a good thing by chasing tail somewhere else.

Next week, we’ll talk about the four big mistakes women make in bed — yes, we’re not always right!

The actions and subsequent apology of Tiger Woods has cast the world of sex addiction into a worldwide spotlight. The number of mistresses he had is still not clear, but it is certain there were at least a dozen. He wanted sex all the time, and would do whatever it took to get it. He hid his desires extremely well from the public and from his family, and the shock that the public felt when his indiscretions were revealed was nothing compared to the shock and shame felt by his wife.

Sex addicts do not set out with the intention of hurting anyone. Instead, they are looking for something that, for them, is as addictive as any drug. Are you a sex addict? Do you know someone who is? Have you seen any of these signs?

Sex is the only thing that matters. A sex addict will lie, cheat, and steal to get the next fix. Sex becomes the center of the universe and the only thing that matters. They will risk their job, their marriage, their relationships, their financial well-being, and every other good thing in life in order to have sex one more time. They don’t think about the consequences, and even when those consequences do come to pass, they can’t stop.

The pornography is out of control. If you can’t find sex with a partner, you will often turn to porn to scratch the itch. Though porn addiction and sex addiction are not the same thing, they often go hand-in-hand. The constant need for an orgasm drives many sex addicts to look at all types of porn, at all times of day, and many sex addicts will harbor a massive collection.

You find it impossible to be faithful. Many think sex addicts must be lacking something at home, that their bedroom time with their spouse is not so hot. In fact, just the opposite is probably true. Most sex addicts have a wonderful sex life with their partner, but that is not enough to stop or stall their addiction. They will sleep around as often as they can, not because they don’t love their partners or want to commit, but simply because they can’t.

Your schedule revolves around it. You spend a great deal of time just trying to figure out when you will have your next orgasm. You plan lunch dates, dinner dates, morning phone sex sessions, and anything in between. You will cancel meetings, take serious risks in getting caught, and form elaborate plans just to get a quickie.

Not having sex feels like withdrawal. If you don’t have sex for a while, you feel lost. The craving is intense, like that of a drug addict trying to kick the habit. You fall into a deep depression and feel as though you cannot function without your fix. Your life becomes miserable, but when you go back to having frequent sex, you feel just as bad, if not worse. It becomes a vicious cycle that can’t be broken without serious help.

Do you have a great sex life that needs a bit of spice…but you can’t really afford to add another toy to your collection? No worries! There are several objects around your house, things that you might see or use every single day, that have a secret life as naughty sex toys. The best part about discovering their hidden talents is that once you learn what that naughty everyday object can really do, you begin to look at everything in your house in a whole different light.

So…where to begin?

That lovely little hairbrush works great for your hair, but did you ever consider the other uses? The handle makes for a nice dildo, while the brush itself can make for an interesting sensation against your heated skin. And if you’re into spanking, a nice hairbrush offers both a smooth surface and a rougher one, all the better for experimentation!

Want even more sensation? Grab that spatula from the kitchen, as well as the wire whisk. You can also try the cheese grater, as long as you’re careful not to cut yourself! Look at not only the top, flat part of the spatula, but the smooth handle as well. How would that feel in certain naughty areas?

Your bathroom is full of things to play with. Why not let your lover shave you? There are few things more intimate than letting your lover wield a razor against your body — it’s all an issue of trust and care. Look to thin shampoo bottles for a unique dildo, and check out what is in the makeup kit, too. Draw sexy words on each other’s bodies with lipstick, and then use that romantic scented soap to wash it from your bodies — while you are together in the shower, of course.

A few loose feathers from your down comforter would make for great sensation play, and the power cord that charges your phone will work for a rope in a pinch. Better yet, use the scarves and ties in the closet to create ropes, blindfolds, and the like, then settle back and enjoy the ride!

Small pill bottles can make great suction cups to bring new sensations to the surface, while clothespins can work wonders on those who want to try out a nipple clamp or two. A single drop of peppermint oil or a candy cane used in appropriate wet places can give you a tingly sensation that is out of this world. While you’re doing that, remember that long, thin candles make great dildos, and the wax — cooled slightly, of course — is a nice finishing touch.

What other household items can you think of that make great sex toys?

Valentine’s Day usually brings out the romantic in us. It’s a time of sharing the wonders of love (and lust!) with those who matter the most. It is often a reminder of just how wonderful our lover is, and this day set aside to commemorate how you feel about them can make you start to really evaluate just what they mean to you.

Now might be a good time to consider saying the one thing you’ve been avoiding…those three little words that mean so much, and can change a relationship forever.

Is it time for the L-word?

Telling someone you love them is not to be taken or given lightly. In a world where sex is easy to find and relationships are tough to maintain, inserting the word “love” into your conversation with your partner is much like jumping off the high dive. You are scared to death at first, but once you do it, you realize the water really does feel just fine, after all.

How can you incorporate that scary word into your conversation without freaking your lover out? The truth is, there isn’t much chance of that. Telling someone you love them will either make or break your relationship, so evaluate the situation long and hard before you take that leap. For instance, telling your fuck buddy you love them might lead to serious consequences, since there was probably an understanding from the beginning. But if you are dating and you are both free to make a deeper commitment, hearing the words “I love you” could launch your new relationship into a serious, enduring bond.

So how do you say it? Valentine’s Day is the best time to declare your love, and there are so many different ways to do it! A favorite is telling your lover while you are in bed together, especially if the lovemaking is fraught with emotion and caring. You can always say it in a card, spell it out with chocolates, or write it on the mirror in bright red lipstick. You can whisper it in her ear or shout it out loud in public — though the shouting part shouldn’t take place unless you know just how she is going to react!

If you’re not quite ready to say the big word yet, tell your partner that you’re close. “I could fall in love with you right now,” is a good way to give a heads-up without freaking them out completely, and it allows both of you the chance to cool things if you feel you’re moving too fast.

Are you ready to take advantage of the day of Love? The most romantic dirty talk ever is made up of three little words. Is it time to take it to the next level?

Yes, it’s been said over and over again…dirty talk is all about communication. But it’s more than just words that turn you on or tell your lover what you want. Dirty talk opens up the floodgates to sexual exploration, and that can mean a much deeper relationship outside of the bedroom.

But how do you translate dirty talk into regular, normal conversation that opens up intimacy when you’re not between the sheets. That might seem like the hard part, but it really will come easy after your dirty talk really gets rolling. The more you talk dirty to each other, the more of your psyche you reveal. The more you know about your partner, the more likely you will be to anticipate moods, understand those little nuances of conversation, and be willing to open up about more things.

It all comes down to feeling uninhibited. The less inhibited you feel in the bedroom, the more likely that feeling will spill over into your everyday life.

Take this for example. You and your lover have been fighting lately. But when you get into the bedroom, you talk through it all with dirty talk. The names you call each other, the power of your sexual romp, and the resentment that has built up all come out in a passionate rush. You might pull hair, whisper dirty things, call each other names, and act out your aggression in bed. It’s often called “make up sex” and for good reason…you feel so much better afterward, and often the situation resolves itself.

That’s not just about a physical release. It’s about the dirty talk! You can say things in bed that you might not say anywhere else, and as your passion rises, the more likely you are to blurt out what you’re feeling. So that make up sex actually enhances your relationship outside of the bedroom.

Another example is the desire to ask for what you want. The more comfortable you are asking for what you want in bed, the more likely you will be to ask for what you need in your everyday life. If you want more affection, you can demand it in bed — and then your lover will remember what you wanted, and make an effort to show you more affection when you’re in public, too.

How has dirty talk helped your sex life? How has it helped every other aspect of your life? Tell us your story!

Dirty talk can open the doors to a great new time in your relationship. It can give you a whole new world to explore, open up the lines of communication between you and your partner, and give you plenty of good fantasy fodder to expand upon when you and your lover are ready to add even more spice to your good times.

But some dirty talk can be a major tip-off that something is wrong. Sometimes lovers reveal things in the heat of passion that lets you know where there thoughts — or where their heart — really are at that moment. These dirty talk tips might not be what you want to hear, but they are definitely good to be aware of, in the event that it does happen to you.

The vocal lover suddenly becomes shy. If your lover has always enjoyed dirty talk but suddenly goes silent in bed, it’s worth asking why. It’s entirely possible that a shy lover will suddenly come out of their shell, but it’s a very rare thing for a dirty-talking pro to keep their mouth shut. In that case, either you are in the doghouse in a serious way, or something is up that you need to know about.

Those new fantasies are far out of the normal realm. It usually takes time to build up to a new fantasy, especially when it’s something rather taboo or something that goes against your moral character. For instance, if your girlfriend has always been an adamant one-man woman but suddenly starts talking about a threesome with another man, then you might want to pay attention to where the idea came from.

Turn-ons are now turn-offs. In the same vein, things that once turned your lover on now turn them off as effectively as a light switch being flipped. They might use the sudden turn-off as an excuse not to have sex, or to jump into an argument about something that has nothing to do with sex. It isn’t that they are turned off by what you’re saying — it’s that they are looking for a fight, and maybe feeling guilty about what they are doing on the side.

Your lover says someone else’s name. This is definitely the mother of all screw-ups when it comes to dirty talk. If your lover loses themselves in the heat of passion and calls out someone else’s name, it’s time to halt all the action and have a very serious discussion. Granted, sometimes fantasies can take over and you can get carried away — but if that other person’s name pops up in addition to other red flags, you just might have a cheater on your hands.

If you do notice any of the big warning signs, take a deep breath, keep your cool, and start paying close attention to other tip-offs. A cheater can’t hide forever, and sometimes, dirty talk can help you call them out.

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who wanted to talk dirty all the time? Have you ever been in bed with someone who suddenly blurted out something they thought was incredibly hot — but you thought it was taboo, or wrong, or absolutely disgusting? In the heat of the moment, dirty talk might lead to anything. But that’s a good thing, and there’s a reason you should be proud of yourself if your lover starts babbling on about things outside your realm of comprehension.

Really good dirty talk builds up from a few words to a crescendo of pleasure. You might begin with moans and sighs, then turn to words that explain what you want and how you feel, and soon you’re off to the races, spinning fantasy tales and roleplaying scenarios that have been lingering in the back of your mind.

The more comfortable you become with each other, the more fantasies you share. The more open you become, the more willing you are to look at things that might not have turned you on before, and actually consider them further now. That doesn’t mean you would do them — but it does mean they cross your mind more often, and can make for hot fantasy fodder.

That’s when the heat of the moment can get…well, heated. Being very comfortable with your lover, and knowing that you can say anything without being judged, opens the floodgates to even more explicit dirty talk. And when you’re that comfortable, you might say just about anything. Being in the heat of the moment means you can let anything and everything go, and what you say at that moment might not be anything you would ever say at any other time. That’s part of the thrill of the sexual game, isn’t it?

When your lover breaks out the hardcore dirty talk, you might be surprised. When they bring up a taboo subject that you thought was off-limits, you might be shocked. And you might be stunned when they whisper a request into your ear that you thought would never, ever float their boat.

But don’t let that shock take over — instead, take a deep breath and recognize that your lover is comfortable enough with you, and open enough with you, to say whatever comes to mind, no matter what it is. Their openness means they trust you — and that bodes very well for your relationship.

So if you’re not into hardcore dirty talk, that’s fine…but if your lover breaks out the big guns, just smile and thank them in the afterglow. They trust you, and that makes the sex so much hotter!

Whether you are new to the dirty talk scene or an old pro at the naughty words, there might come a time in your dirty talk fun when you stumble upon something a little too…out there. A little bit taboo. Something that you never in a million years thought would make you horny as hell. But then it comes up, and what once turned you off suddenly seems like the hottest thing you’ve ever heard.

Why are we so drawn to taboos? Perhaps it’s the rebel inside all of us, the one that wants to blaze its own path and what society likes — or expects of us — be damned. But sometimes those taboos really cross our moral lines, and for some of us, that’s when they become even hotter. The forbidden has always had an appeal — that’s one reason why so many people have affairs. But that’s another blog post for another time.

If you find yourself drawn to dirty talk about something that you would otherwise think is a bit strange, awkward, taboo, disgusting, or any other word you want to insert into that space, don’t freak out! Don’t begin to wonder if your moral values have taken a heading off the rails. Don’t start to contemplate whether or not you will burn in hell. Just take a deep breath and rest assured that you’re just like all the rest of us at some point in our lives — suddenly, the forbidden sounds mighty good.

When you stumble upon taboo dirty talk that really knocks your socks off, use it as a starting point to talk about what you like in bed. Who knows? Your tastes might be changing. You could be perfectly happy with a certain variety of sex, and then one day wake up and want something more. If you are getting turned on by things that you didn’t like before, it’s possible that you are ready to enter a new phase of experimentation in bed — and this is a very good thing for everyone involved!

Bring all of this up with your partner by being straightforward and honest. “You said something the other night, and normally I wouldn’t have liked the idea…but something about it intrigues me, and I want to talk about it.” Bringing the discussion out into the open will help you talk through your feelings about that taboo subject, and your partner will know that you’re struggling a bit with the way you feel about it. You can help each other understand what’s going on in your head — and then you can let your body do the talking!

Dirty talk is all fine and dandy, but what if you aren’t getting any action at all? There might not be an app for that, but there definitely is dirty talk for that! How do you go from perfect strangers to having a hot, sexy, intimate encounter by the end of the night?

Dirty talk will help you get there.

When you approach the one you want, do it with the end result in mind. Walk toward that hottie while you envision what you will be doing to them by the end of the night. What you are thinking will be reflected in your confident stance and your flirty demeanor. They will be able to sense “sex” from the moment you say hello.

Then break out the innuendo — hard. “How many people here are going to get laid tonight?” is a very direct one, and so is “When was the last time someone kissed you until you couldn’t breathe?”

The point is not to be overt, but to be subtle. The point is not to talk them into bed with you, but to make them want to go to bed with you — to make them so intrigued that they want to see what you can really do between the sheets. To that end, let your body language talk dirty, too. Don’t just talk to them — whisper into their ear. Don’t just smile — smile while you reach out and touch their shoulder. Invade their personal space in a subtle way that says you want to invade other things, too!

When they are touching you right back and looking interested, then you can move to the harder dirty talk. Start asking them sexual questions that don’t require a lengthy answer. “Have you ever done a stranger?” is a good one that shows your intentions. “What’s the one thing you want done to you right now?” is another. Be more than willing to reciprocate with your own ideas of what you want and need, and soon after that you will reach the moment of truth.

Will they, or won’t they?

If the person you’re talking up starts to back off, be direct about it. “Are you uncomfortable?” is a question that puts them on the spot and makes them respond. If they are, ask what you can do to make it better. If they say they aren’t, press on! They might be trying to see how willing you really are.

When you do get that hottie into bed, use all the dirty talk tricks you know to keep the encounter hot — and to keep them coming back for more!

It’s the start of a new year, and you know what that means — besides the ball dropping, the fireworks going off, the drinking too much, and the resulting hangover, it’s time to get a jump-start on those resolutions. Have you decided what you’re going to change this year? Better yet, have you decided what naughty resolutions you are going to strive to meet before the year is out?

Here are a few ideas for those of you who are stumped about what new naughtiness to invite into your life:

Try something new. Okay, this might be an easy resolution, but do your best to make it as creative as possible. Choose something mind-blowing, something you are certain will define this year as the one that changed your entire sexual landscape.

Try someone new! If you’re a wild and free swinging single, try out someone new…take a lover that you might not have had a few years ago. Choose someone outside of your comfort zone. Perhaps you’re a submissive woman…why not choose a submissive partner as a lover and explore your dominant side? Maybe you’ve always had bisexual thoughts…now is the time to pursue them!

Do that one thing you swore you would never do. Have you ever had a fantasy that you thought was too far-fetched or too wild to try? Now is the time to do it! There is never a moment like the present to choose to do something that will open new horizons.

Choose a new, wild fantasy. Think about fantasies that you have never considered before. What areas of your sexuality have you never explored? What new things about sex have you discovered recently, but you’ve never given it a shot? Now is the time to engage in a few new fantasies that you just might have to make a reality one day soon.

What are your naughty resolutions? What did you try over this past year that you want to continue on into a new year? What is the dirtiest thing you can think of that you have always wanted to try? Now is the year to do it!

Tell us about your resolutions in comments…and have a Naughty New Year!

The holidays are here! Now that everything is cheery and bright, give your partner the gift of a brand-new dirty talking you. How, you ask? Make it a dirty talk holiday!

Do you want to surprise your partner with something that they will never forget? Here are a few tips to make your dirty talk holiday extra-special.

Give them the gift of yourself. Don’t put fancy wrappings under the tree. Wrap yourself up instead! Give your partner a long evening with you, and offer their every desire. You can definitely make this a holiday season to remember! How to do that? Read on…

Plan on something naughtier than usual. The usual just won’t do when it’s the holiday season. Give them even more of yourself by doing something that you have been a little worried about doing in the past. Perhaps give that hardcore dirty talk a go, try out a new position, or make love with the blinds open. You might even opt to go for something you have always been scared to try, such as anal sex or outdoor romps.

Learn new dirty talk and surprise them! Now is the time to spice things up! Learn to talk dirty in a new language, or simply get comfortable with words you have never used before. Cross some lines and break some taboos, all in the name of the holiday season!

Read over the Dirty Talk Guide together. Get some tips and tricks to try out together by reading the Dirty Talk Guide in bed. Talk about what new things you can try, and let the many naughty ideas in the Guide spark your own unique plans.

Write an erotic story just for them. Your lover loves to hear your words, so why not write a dirty story just for them? Write it on pretty paper — use a computer to do the work if you aren’t happy with your penmanship — roll the story into a scroll, and tie it with a bright red ribbon. Present it to your lover when you are alone, and then read it to them aloud. You will be on the floor making good on that story in no time!

Do it under the tree. Last, but certainly not least, make good use of that pretty Christmas tree! Turn out all the lights and leave the little twinkly Christmas tree lights on. Make love on the floor next to the tree, or right underneath it, if there is enough room. The pretty lights will make your body look even more stunning, and you will have a memory that will always be sparked by those pretty lights. Why not make this holiday one to remember forever?

Do you want to know the secrets to a great sex life? You’re not alone! Researchers have been looking for the keys to a great sex life for years, and they might have finally found it. Recent studies published in Canadian medical journals culled information from interviews with happy, sexually-fulfilled partners to determine the best tips for a great sex life. So, without further ado…here are the tricks of the trade!

Be Real. Be absolutely real, uninhibited, and ready to share all of yourself with your partner. Mystery isn’t much of a turn-on when you finally have that person in bed…now you should open up and give them the intimate prize they want. Be yourself, be open, and don’t let any artifice get in between you and your lover.

Communicate. Talk! Talk dirty while you are having sex and talk about anything else when you’re not. Talk about what you like and what you don’t like. Discuss fantasies, roleplaying, desires, needs, wants, and yes, even your fears. Communication is a major component of great lovemaking.

Be intimate. Have a deep intimacy established before you get to the bedroom. Trust, respect, honesty, and courtesy are all important to make your sex life mind-blowing. Treat your lover with the utmost respect outside of the bedroom, and you will both be more open to getting hardcore and naughty behind closed doors.

Stay connected. That genuine connection you feel with your partner, that spark that only you can explain, is very important. You won’t feel it with everyone, and if you don’t, you can bet that relationship won’t last. You have to have that deep, almost unexplainable connection in order to move forward into an explosive sex life.

Focus completely. The number one tip for the best lovemaking? Focus entirely on your partner and nothing else. Clear your mind of everything but the person you are with. There is nothing else…in fact, so far as you are concerned, time stands still. That’s true focus, and it’s what your partner needs to have all of you, inside and out. So the next time you are in bed with your lover, make sure your mind is pointed toward them…and ONLY them.

There is dirty talk — the fun, good kind that brings you and your honey closer together. But if the dirty talk is coming from someone else’s painted lips and aimed for your lover’s ear, you no longer have something fun and playful. You have something dead serious, and you just might have to do something about that.

So before you tell your best friend all about your dirty talk escapades and get her horny for your man, consider these signs that she might be more into him than you realize:

She finds reasons to get alone with him. Your friend might be interested in talking dirty with your partner if she’s trying to get him alone more often than is kosher for a friend to do. And maybe he’s a nice guy who says okay the first time, but then gets uncomfortable when it keeps happening. Watch for that big red flag — if he’s uncomfortable, things are not good.

She pays more attention to him than to her own date. When you double-date — which is often — she finds plenty of reason to drape herself over your man instead of her date. She might also drop plenty of dirty talk innuendo that opens the door to sexual discussion. If you find yourself counting how many times she’s found an excuse to rub her fingers over his shoulders, then you know it’s time to nip the double-dates in the bud.

She tells you how lucky you are. My best friend has a wonderful man in her life. He’s smart, friendly, sexy as hell, and treats her like a queen. She’s lucky and she knows it…she doesn’t need to hear it from me over and over again. If someone tells you how lucky you are — as if you need to be reminded of it for some reason — then you might want to keep an eye on them.

She calls him for something when she could have easily called you. She probably shouldn’t have his number in the first place, but let’s assume there’s a reason she does. Okay…does that mean she should call him before she bothers to call you? The only time I’m going to call my best friend’s man is if she’s late for a girl’s night out and I’m worried, or we’re trying to coordinate that surprise birthday party. Those things are kosher. Much more than that, however, is not.

She drops by his place when you aren’t there. This is a huge, massive, scary red flag that calls for your immediate attention. She has no reason to be alone with him, especially at his house. So why is she? At this point, it’s okay to confront her about her actions, especially if she’s hit all the high points of the other warning signs mentioned.

You might want to mention it to your man, too. Sometimes they are oblivious to things right in front of them — but other times, they are savvier about a woman’s actions than they seem. Make sure you’re both on the same page with this friendship gone awry, and take steps together to protect your relationship.

How many times have you heard a man brag about his conquests? They sound like the most confident people in the world when they talk about the great time they had in the sack. But there’s a secret men don’t want you to know, one that will make you see them in a whole different light!

Most of them are faking it.

That incredible confidence a man projects, when he talks about doing it four times (or more!) in one night, how he made her fall apart and cry with ecstasy, and how she was left believing he was the stud of the century — they make him sound like he doesn’t have a care in the world. But the truth is, men have their worries about their bedroom expertise, just like women do. In fact, certain aspects of the bedroom dance bother them a bit more than others.

Want to help him out in the confidence department — for real? Turn to dirty talk to make his ego soar, and build the confidence up each time you have an encounter. Eventually, he WILL be confident — and then he WILL be able to earn the title of “Stud!”

Want to know what bothers men the most? Read on:

That beer belly. Even if it’s the tiniest belly imaginable, men think it’s enormous. They will suck it in at all costs, and hope you don’t notice that they can hardly breathe. Build his confidence by caressing him everywhere, especially his belly, and tell him how strong and solid he feels. A “solid” man makes for a great cuddle afterward!

Your orgasm. Men have been taught to think that it’s about the goal of an orgasm — not about the journey. So if you don’t come, they get worried. Very worried. Their first thought is that they have done something wrong. In this case, remind them that your goal is not an orgasm (even if it is), and tell them how much you love what they did…and tell them this in vivid, dirty detail. You just might get another round, and that might lead to the orgasm you both want!

Their penis. Ah, yes. The size issue. Most women know that size doesn’t matter nearly as much as what a man does with what he’s got — and if he’s magic with his hands and his tongue, he’s one of those “ohmygod” kind of keepers! Praise him by telling him how much you want him inside you, and talk about his attributes. If he’s huge, tell him. If he gets harder than you ever thought a man could, tell him that. If he has that certain motion that takes you to the moon and back, let him know.

Whatever it is that he has, play it up bigtime and his confidence will grow by leaps and bounds. There is nothing sexier than a man who projects confidence — and doesn’t have to fake a single word!

You can hope it never happens to you, but you’ve heard the stories, and you know that it might. You probably have a friend or two who has dealt with infidelity. In fact, it doesn’t have to be physical – no hotel rooms involved. It can be right under your nose, right on the screen of your lover’s phone. Dirty texting with someone else should be considered a form of infidelity…

Or should it?

The great debate about what cheating is and isn’t is as familiar as Bill Clinton’s question of what “is” means. And it has just as many nutty answers. Some will say that if your lover didn’t touch the other person, then it’s not cheating…after all, it’s just text messages on a screen! There is nothing more to it than your lover getting off to porn or a dirty book.

But others will say that there is an emotional attachment there, because there is another person involved. They could also argue that your lover went looking for someone to text with instead of picking up that dirty magazine. If your lover was seeking it out, does that mean it’s cheating?

That’s the first step in dealing with the possible infidelity of your partner — decide whether you think it was cheating, and why. Do dirty text messages count? Why do you think so? What you think is a private thing, but KNOW what you think, for certain, before you confront your partner. You will probably argue about it, and you want to be able to state your case. So think long and hard about what constitutes infidelity and what is just “playing around.”

Then consider how to handle it from there. Should you tell your partner to lose the text ability on his phone if he wants to stay with you? Should you tell your girl to confront the person she’s been texting and tell them it’s over? Should you demand that you have the same rights, and both of you can text dirty to others as you please? Their reaction to that one will tell you whether they feel guilty or not — if they are adamant that YOU cannot dirty text someone else, then they know what they did was wrong, and you will know that they believe they cheated on you by doing it.

Keep in mind that from time to time, it’s easy to get caught up in a texting game that goes a bit too far. But the real problem comes in doing it over and over, or hiding it from your partner. Before the problem has a chance to take hold, sit down and have a long, intimate talk about what is okay in your relationship, and what is not. You will be glad you did.

Getting into dirty talk with your lover will usually go well, but from time to time you could stumble across a few obstacles. One of the big ones is your dirty talk style.

If you’re the raunchy kind who loves the filthiest talk imaginable, but your lover is more of the romantic type who views sex as more of a spiritual experience than a physical one, your dirty talk styles might not mesh well at first. Learning to work around this and find a good compromise is the key to having dirty talk fun with someone who sees the naughty phrases in a different light than you do.

If your lover says something that offends you or makes you nervous, it’s important that you let them know. You don’t have to do it right there and then — in fact, it might be best if you don’t. Just go with the flow as best you can, and have the discussion about dirty talk during the afterglow if the mood is right. If not, have the talk at some point later, perhaps the next morning.

Simply tell your partner that what they said was a little out of your comfort zone, and explain why, if you know the reasons. If you don’t, that’s okay — sometimes, we just like what we like, and that’s all there is to it. Ask them how they feel about your dirty talk. Have you gone too far? Not gone far enough? Is there something they really love to hear, something that turns them on beyond belief?

Learn about each other’s styles! If your partner is into the more hardcore dirty talk, check out a few erotic novels to get an idea of what they are looking for. Things like The Story of O or The Delta of Venus are good places to begin. If your partner has learned dirty talk from watching the worst porn movies you can imagine, enlighten them a bit with examples of erotic correspondence, such as Napoleon’s letters to Josephine.

It will take time and practice to make your very different dirty talk styles click — but when they finally do, you will be certain the time and effort were worth that incredible bedroom experience!

If you’ve had any experience with online dating, you know that even the best profiles can bring in some looney responses. The situation is even worse if you are looking for something more than a quick fling or a one-night stand, but you keep getting emails that tell you just how hard a nameless, faceless guy wants to do you. Always, without fail, these emails come with close-up pictures of their dick.

So what is a girl to do? You’ve got to separate the serious men from the horny boys somehow. Where do you start? Here are a few ideas:

Be very clear. Make your online dating intentions clear as crystal. Not looking for a quick pick-up? Say it! Make it clear that you are looking for something more…and then when you get those annoying emails from someone who thinks you just can’t resist a roll in the anonymous hay, you can blast them with a simple, “Can’t you read?” and block them.

Don’t respond to dick shots. If someone is interested in showing you their junk right off the bat, they probably aren’t looking for a serious relationship. If you find that far too many of the shots on a particular dating site are of people wearing little clothing, maybe you’re in the wrong place?

Don’t tease. It doesn’t do any good to say you are looking for something serious, and then two hours later you are having cybersex with a complete stranger. Stand behind what you say. There are places for a quick hookup, and there are places for something more serious. Make sure you’re in the right one.

Post a “hidden” tidbit. Somewhere in your message, post a little something that a man has to do to get your attention. It could be as simple as telling them to put the word “purple” in the subject line of their email. Odd? Perhaps. But if you don’t see that word, you can delete the emails unread, knowing that the person who wrote to you didn’t care enough to actually read what you said in your profile.

Be patient. Remember that for every woman on a dating site, there are twice as many men, if not more. You will be bombarded with requests for your time. Be patient in weeding through them, and remember that you’re looking for a diamond among rhinestones…you will find it. You just have to look harder!

Don’t you ever just wish that you could have a translator every time your guy or the latest cute guy is hanging around? We spend so much time over analyzing every text and email and we still never seem to really get them. Find out what he really means, here are some of the top guy phrases decoded, translated into women’s speak. And maybe just maybe these will give you some insight into your guy. Be warned, some of these aren’t pretty, and yes, the truth DOES hurt sometimes. But we all know that when it comes to love and dating, having all the facts in front of us is always more satisfying, it’s how we learn and move on. Get inside your guy’s head today by checking out these top decoded guy phrases.

1. “I’m not good at relationships”, or, “I’m not looking for a relationship”
He means, I don’t think you are important enough for me to put in the effort. Or…I won’t be good in a relationship with you because that’s not what I want.

2. “I was good when i was out with the guys.”
He means, good is a relative term, and I’m not telling you everything because it will make me look bad, but I didn’t cheat on you.

3. “Isn’t that a little too sexy for a night out with the girls?”
He means…Put something else on, I don’t want guys hitting on you

4. “Don’t worry, my mom is always like that around new people.”
He means….She’s not a big fan…yet. But hang in there.

5. “Sorry I haven’t called/written/texted, whatever.”
He means….I’m not really sorry, but your wrath is not something I am interested in.

6. “My friends LOVED you!”
He means…I think I might love you too!

7. “I just need some space.”
He means…It’s done, but I can’t think of a nicer way to say it, and I’m really not up for the psycho thing right now.

8. “My family has been asking about you.”
He means…We are definitely a couple, but this is my roundabout way of saying so.

9. “I really don’t want to rush into anything.”
He means..I don’t want to rush into anything with YOU.

10. “We should hang out sometime.”
He means…I’m afraid you will say no if I formally ask you out, so I am using this terminology.

11. “I’m not going to change.”
He means…I don’t have the cahonas to dump you, so I’m going to be a complete jerk so that you do it for me

12. “Why are you being so emotional?”
He means…Why are you acting like a psycho?

13. “It’s a long story.”
He means…It’s not really all that long, but it’s one that makes me look bad, and this will turn into a long conversation if we go there, so how about we just don’t.

14. “He seems like he’s a really good friend of yours.”
He means…Did you ever sleep with him?

15. “You’re such a great friend.”
He means…I never want to date you.

16. I hate game playing.
He means…Actually, I am a master at game playing, but I don’t want you playing any on me.

17. “I’m pretty much single.”
He means…I have a girlfriend, but you’re hot.

18. “My ex is a psycho.”
He means…I screwed her over and she got upset about it. And it’s entirely possible that I will be calling you a psycho one day too.

19. “I didn’t think it was that big a deal.”
He means…I totally knew that it was, that’s why I didn’t tell you.

20. “That’s not what I meant at all.”
He means…That’s exactly what I meant, but now I see you are going a little crazy over it, so I’m just wishing I hadn’t said anything at all.

So you have a great relationship, but you want to spice it up. You’ve tried all the dirty talk phrases you can think of, and now you’re wondering what could possibly be new. What can you say that you haven’t said before?

The key to dirty talk phrases that shock and awe your partner is to get right into their head — to pay attention to what turns them on and use it to your advantage. It doesn’t have to be something that turns on both of you. In fact, choosing to talk dirty about something that your partner knows doesn’t exactly “trip your trigger” can be even hotter, because they know you are getting into the discussion of it for their pleasure, and their pleasure alone. That’s a powerful gift to give your lover!

So what do they like? I’m not talking about the run-of-the-mill fetishes. I’m talking about the hardcore sexual tastes. Sure, maybe they like being tied up…but do they dream of being tied up with leather straps while your friends take turns having their way with them? That’s the difference between your “basic” fetish and your “extreme” fetish. The basic fetishes are things that most people would feel comfortable doing, while the extreme fetishes are those that often stay in the realm of fantasy.

So get extreme! Explore the ins and outs of your partner’s fetish, and then unleash the dirty talk on them the next time you are in bed. If they love to be dominated, take it a step further with a whip and a few choice words about the naughty whore they are being — they aren’t worthy of licking your boots, but they are going to do just that, aren’t they? Control them with your words and invite them into deeper fetishes with your dirty talk. Did they get turned on when you mentioned making them lick your boots? What if they were forced to suck your strap-on dick? What if their friends were invited to watch?

Take your dirty talk phrases further into the extreme fetish until you reach the limit of what your partner likes…or until your partner gets off, whichever comes first!