There seem to be so many date rules out there, it is hard to keep track of what is right and what isn’t any more. And many people will just say throw the playbooks out all together and go with your heart. But we can’t just do that anymore, if movies such as ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ have shown us anything, it is that dating and relationships are more and more complicated than they ever have been. In this day and age, time is scarce for the significant other hunt, because we are all working so hard to beat this recession. And our pool is slimming down as well.
As time passes, and society changes, the breadth of relationship definitions widens so great that it is almost impossible to find what we want. Look at any dating service for example, or even Facebook status’s. “Looking For: Hang Out, Friends, Talk/Email, Activity Partner, Intimate Encounters, Long Term…oh, and Dating”! The pool is slimming by the minute, and it is getting harder and harder for us to reach that coveted second date. So if you are even a little confused about what might make a man head for the hills, keep these few tips in mind and you should be ok. These are by no means exhaustive, but they are a good start.
1. Don’t bring up the Google convo. It’s 2009. Yes, you’ve Googled him. And he sure has Googled you. This is something you both are doing in the privacy of your own homes. If you wanted him to know you were doing this, why would you be looking for secret information about him on the Internet? Right? Mentioning that you saw the composite of the fraternity freshman porn poster lurking around is not really first date conversation.
2. Don’t talk about your Ex. Okay, you know this one. So don’t sneak around this rule by talking about your “friend” and what a jerk they were to their last girlfriend. Uh, reality check. He knows who you are talking about. Because he’s done the same thing.
3. Photo albums digital or otherwise not first date material. Showing him pics of your hottest friend partying on your Facebook page will intrigue him. But not of you. And he doesn’t want to see your Chihuahua Prada through a 78 slide show on her first week at home, either. If he’s looking at it, he’s just being nice, but that tapping of his foot? He’s counting down the seconds until he can bail politely.
4. Let him know you’ve checked out his body. Once. Flirt and stop. Yes, men enjoy being objectified. They actually thrive on it. If he is fishing, he will do so subtly like ‘everyone in my family is tall like this’. The proper response to this is not “oh, so you have hot brothers too?” but sounds more like, “well, I know who to call then the next time I need help reaching for something!” It’s called flirting. You flirt. You drop it. You wait for the response. (if he smiles and pretends to be shy about it, you’ve handled this well) You don’t keep going. Flirt and stop. Yes, it needs to be said twice.
5. Laugh, at appropriate times, and for appropriate lengths. Yes, sometimes things really ARE that funny, where you are laughing for just THAT long. Think back to those times. You were with your sister or your best friend, right? They made you laugh that way because they know you that well. He doesn’t. And he knows this. So if you are laughing about the same joke 15 minutes later, and even bringing it up to remind him how funny you thought he was, it’s just desperate. He knows this too. Laugh at him, he is using that to guage if you like him. But if you are laughing too much, he’s thinking you like him too much, and there goes the foot tapping.