Dirty Talk Blog - How To Talk Dirty

That’s right! When you want to talk dirty but you don’t quite know how, why not start out with something a little less likely to make you blush? Begin by picking up a book of dirty stories, or finding a few on the internet to read. Which ones make you tingle? Which ones would turn your lover on?

Read stories to get yourself in the mood, and then write one of your own. Make it a fantasy if you want, or write about something you and your lover did a few nights ago…you know, that thing that left you breathless and weak with pleasure? Write about it! Use as many descriptive words as you want. Talk about how it made you feel — both the physical reaction and the emotional one. Describe how you want to do it again, and what it would be like.

You can add all sorts of elements to your erotic story. Has your lover expressed a particular fantasy? Make it come true with your pen and paper! Is there something you’ve always wanted to try, or even some fantastic body-bending scenario that is physically impossible, but turns you on anyway? You might be surprised at how many people have fantasies that make little logical sense…but those fantasies make them hot regardless. Write it all down!

But that’s half of the battle. Once you have the story written the way you want, with all the little twists and turns you desire, it’s time to present it to your lover. How do you do that?

You read it to him!

Take the story to bed with you. Light some candles and relax with a glass of wine. In your best sultry, seductive voice, read your dirty story aloud. Put emphasis on the really naughty bits. Draw out the most tingle-worthy words. Make your partner feel what you’re saying…and while you’re reading, it’s a sure bet you will get just as turned on as he is!

So, what do you think…can you make it to the end of that story before one of you gives up and jumps the other? Why don’t you go find out?

Still looking for a way to ease into talking dirty ?

Make it a game! Though there are dirty talk games out there on the market, none are as effective as the one you create yourself.

To begin: You and your partner each sit down with a piece of paper and write down as many dirty words as you can think of. Use hardcore words that make you blush as you write them, use sweet and sexy words, even throw in words that aren’t necessarily dirty at all, but describe actions you want to see happen — "harder" or "faster" are two classics.

Cut the papers into strips, with one word on each strip. Fold them each in half and drop them in a bowl, a cup, or a hat. Flip a coin to see who goes first. Draw a slip of paper out of the hat and read it aloud, then come up with a naughty sentence to go along with it.

It might be silly at first, but keep going — eventually you will start to think more about the words and the sentences themselves than the giggles the next word might bring, and soon after that , you will start thinking about putting some of those creative sentences into action. A good look into your lover’s eyes will show you that he’s thinking along the same lines.

At that point, well…how do you determine the winner? It would be easy to say the naughtiest wins, but let’s make it a bit more challenging. How about this: The first person to put dirty talk into hot, steamy action — and to bring their partner to orgasm while whispering raunchy nothings into their ear — is the proven winner!

This time, that is. You can always put those slips of paper back into the hat and go for round two.

I have to admit, the first time I tried talking dirty with my partner, I thought it was a dismal failure. Why? I couldn’t keep a straight face! Even in the heat of passion, when I said something I thought was hot, it would immediately send me off into a fit of giggles.

If you do get a case of the giggles, remember — it’s just nerves! You’re nervous about talking dirty, and you know what? That’s a good thing. If you didn’t take it seriously, you wouldn’t be nervous. You know this is something that will please your partner, make you happy, and open doors to an even greater sex life. Of course you’re nervous about getting it right!

The cool thing about dirty talk is that anything goes. You should be comfortable with your partner, and know what anything he says will be accepted with open ears — and arms! — and he will give you the same courtesy. Even if that means you laugh out loud in the middle of your best porn-star pout. Getting a case of the giggles doesn’t mean the naughty session is over. On the contrary, it means a whole new one has just begun!

When you get that case of the giggles, don’t fight it. Run with it! Let yourself laugh until you cry. Invite your partner to join in with the silliest, craziest dirty talk phrases he can imagine. Exaggerate everything. Create scenarios that are utterly impossible. If you were complimenting his ‘equipment’ when the laughter overtook you, make it corny: "Oh, look, Captain Head! Twenty inches and counting!" Hopefully he will catch on and reply in the same spirit: "Caution! You’re about to lose yourself in the boobage!"

Hey, it worked for us!

Make your bodies into caricatures of your real selves, and say anything that comes to mind. The more you laugh about it, the easier it will be to make that transition back to the hot and steamy talk. Don’t let embarrassment take over and end your lovemaking before it has a chance to get revved up! You are with the partner that you intend to share all your most intimate dirty talk secrets with, so start now by letting the laughter be a part of your sexual romp.

Laughter just might be the best medicine for dirty talk!

Let’s say your lover has been very vocal about one particular fantasy lately. Maybe he’s gone on and on with details about his fantasy escapades with another woman while you sit back and watch. Maybe he’s talked about watching you with another woman — or another man — while he films it all. Has he mentioned something more taboo, the kind of things that make you blush like mad when you think of them, the fantasies you know he would never really want to try?

Those fantasies don’t have to stop with dirty talk . While you don’t have to go all the way and make them a reality (after all, do you really want to get arrested for having public sex in Central Park?), you can ramp up the fire by recreating those fantasies as best you can — right in the privacy of your own bedroom.

When it comes to fulfilling some of those dirty talk fantasies, sex toys are your friend! A trip through the internet sex shops can provide hours of fun and any toy you can imagine. If you’re more adventurous, locate your nearest local store and pay them a visit. Take your lover along. As you’re shopping for the toys, whisper into his ear that you remember that fantasy he loves so much. Would he like to try it out now?

If you’re the kind who loves to spring surprises on your partner, keep your activities quiet until the big night, when you put a smile on his face by telling him his fantasy is about to come true.

If he’s dying to be with two women at once, but you’re not comfortable with actually inviting another woman into bed with you, now is the time to invest in men’s sex toys! We’re not talking about those silly blow-up dolls, either. There are plenty of products out there that stimulate the feel and motion of a woman’s most intimate parts. Blindfold your lover, tie him to the bed, and whisper into his ear while you slowly slide that toy down his erection. Make him imagine it’s another woman, and taunt him with it — perhaps demand that he come for her and let you watch. You know what trips your man’s trigger, so use it to your advantage!

This fantasy trick works for you, too. Want to be with two men but you’re too shy to ever really consider it? Those sex shops have a huge variety of dildos to choose from. Ask your lover to use one on you while you do something to him — what, it doesn’t matter. It’s your fantasy! Simulate the idea of two men by using that dildo and making the most of your dirty talk while you’re doing it. It might not be the "real thing" but it’s pretty close!

You can also spice up the dirty talk with costumes. Does your lover have a thing for being spanked by his teacher? Become that teacher! Outfit yourself with the skirt, the finely-pressed blouse, the wire-rimmed glasses and the hair in the bun. Hold a ruler in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other. If he’s been a very bad boy, he gets a good spank with that ruler — and if he’s been exceptionally bad, he gets a trip to the principal’s office, where he just might meet up with the big paddle.

The dirty talk fantasies are endless. Which ones do you want to make into reality? Ask your lover which ones he wants to take a bit further, and then you can work together to make your favorite fantasies into your favorite bedroom games.